pdaangsakti21

And did you hit the button that says "older releases"? I'm not trying to sound flippant (honest ), I'm entirely serious.....mine looks like that quite often (today as well coincidentally), and it's apparently just a quirk of how the releases are grouped. I just hit the "older" button and go to the next page and all's well

#21

The boy shrugged. "I don't know, remove some of the energy from the image?"

Vincent clicked his fingers at him. "Exactly. By draining that energy from the capture, you thereby weaken the boundaries of the dimension, allowing for time-flow synchronisation and the freedom of the raven. Now, you do have the sketch of that, right?"

Auror nodded. "Of course."

He pointed to the canvas, with the charcoal image etched onto it. Vincent smiled. "Excellent. Well, what are you waiting for? Free the bird; I'll hold the paper for you."

With that, the old man assumed a stance similar to a karate master, and held the image out to the boy. Auror placed his hand on it, and tried to imagine drawing out the raven from the capture, like a fisherman drawing out a trout from a lake. Suddenly, the image glowed, and a small sphere formed above it; from there, a bird call could be heard echoing. Without hesitation, the raven flew straight out of the forcefield-like orb, and into the sky; the sphere then receded slightly into the capture, adopting a more elliptical shape. 

The boy didn't know what to say. "What is that?"

Vincent pointed at it, placing the paper horizontal to the floor. "That's your dimension. It's got looser boundaries, but if you loosen it further, it can encompass the space that mine can. You are quite a fascinating case; you took my own power to the next level. I will need to investigate this further; so, for now, get some rest."

With that, he ushered the boy to bed, then collapsed in the chair next to the table. "This is bad. If he can do this with my power alone, he could cause further chaos with other powers that other artists have. I need to keep him safe...but if necessary...I might...need to...kill..."

*

The same figure was watching them again. It chuckled at the news leaked by Vincent. "So, that boy can enhance powers, eh? Looks like my plan will need to be accelerated further; I cannot afford to lose an asset like him."

A brunette walked into the doctor's office and claimed she hurt everywhere. He asked her to show him where she felt pain. She poked her leg and said "Ow!", she then poked her other leg, her arm, her chest, and her head, saying "Ow!" each time. The doctor examined her thoroughly, and came to a conclusion.

"You're not naturally a brunette, are you?"

"No. Blonde. I dyed it."

"That makes sense." He said. "Your finger's broken."

#8

The boy wondered how something like this was possible, but wasn't too worried about it at that moment. He turned back to Tracey, and noticed her most famous sculpture. "You still have your artwork in here? Hasn't there been requests to display it in the galleries?"

She laughed. "Of course there have been requests; I've got twenty sitting in my mailbox. But I would still like to sleep in it every once in a while."

Aurora laughed. "Indeed. You're still the mad Miss Emin that I remember. So when will the canvases and paintbrushes be ready?"

She pondered this for a moment. "I'll have them all ready by tomorrow. Come back then and we'll sort out payment."

He nodded. "Sounds good. I'll be back tomorrow; tell Felbart that I'll pick up his stuff tomorrow as well."

Tracey gave me a thumbs up. "No problem. See you tomorrow."

*

Night had descended upon the cottage, and Auror was out in the extensive fields that surrounded the tiny house. He was staring up at the moon, pondering. How cold that be possible? Why would I be gone for six years, but only remember one? Is it one of Vincent's powers? I should ask him. 

As if on cue, van Gogh walked out of the dwelling and saw him in the fields. The bearded artist walked up behind him. "Would you mind if I took a seat next to you?"

Aurora patted the grass next to him, flattening it. "Not at all; won't you join me for some stargazing?"

Vincent took off his straw hat and lay down next to the boy. As they stared into the vast cosmos, van Gogh turned to him. "Can I show you something?"

Without hesitation, he pulled out a paintbrush, already covered with paint, and held it out to point at the sky. Then, like a curtain being drawn, he painted the sky with his own brush strokes, full of spirals, dappled colours and flowing aura. Auror gazed at it in admiration. "Wow; that was amazing."

He laughed. "That's an artist's power for you. You know, one day, I hope you will be able to show that kind of skill to me, assuming I live long enough. I know I might seem harsh and uncaring about you, Auror, but I'm not; on the contrary, I'm just trying to give you more motivation. Every day, your presence makes me feel more alive, and I can finally smile again thanks to you."

The boy blushed. "Thanks, Mr van Gogh."

He laughed. "Call me Vincent."

Auror suddenly remembered the whole time-passing thing, and so inquired. "By the way, sir, why does it seem that time is different here than anywhere else?"

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

The boy explained. "When I was buying the supplies, Miss Emin said I'd been gone for six years; but I swear I've only been your apprentice for one."

Vincent sighed. "I thought this might happen. Your exposure to my radiating artistic power has distorted your time; I guess we'll need to simply adjust to this. Remind me to look into that tomorrow morning."

I nodded. "Sure thing, Vincent."

*

My apologies in advance if anyone finds the following joke offensive. In my defense, I thought it was hilarious and clever.

Who was the greatest prostitute in history?

Ms. Pac-Man. For 25 cents, she swallowed balls until she died.

Next person.... give an inaugural (first) presidential speech... for the first 'non-human' elected. (anything will do... cat, dog, alien, spider, car, robot, computer, imaginary friend, etc.)

Ugh, fine, here's my resume in prose. Don't expect it to be exciting. x_x

Maaaan I guess I have no excuse for not writing cover letters now, thanks a lot

You are the antihero, trying to convince a villain--who is actually quite similar to you-- to turn their back on their dastardly ways.

#10

I made my way to the edge of town, where a mystic had opened a shop for Tarot card readings. I trusted him more than anyone else; he appeared to be the only sane one in this dystopic hellhole. I entered the shop, and its smell hit me. I've never been a fan of incense, but I tolerated it, knowing that my hope was within. 

The mystic walked out from behind a curtained doorway. "Back again, eh? I expected the most. Well, take a seat."

I sat down as he shuffled and cut his Tarot deck. He spread it out in front of me. "You know the drill. Choose 6."

Following his instructions, I picked out six, stacked them in order and gave them to him. In his usual manner, he cleared the table of the other cards and placed the six in a 2x3 pattern. 

He lifted the first one: XVII - The Star. He knew that a tranquil time was ahead of me, and I had hopes for what it might hold. The second card made me shiver: II - The High Priestess. I should look within to find that dark part of my life, but I'm not ready yet. The third: I - The Magician. I do have my fears about the man in the locket; his familiarity makes me shiver. Fourth reveal: XII - The Hanged Man. I was expecting this to turn up; travelling across the country like this has always made me felt in limbo, but at least he is saying I will know to make the right decisions. Number Five: XV - The Devil. This was too true. The deaths within the town were beginning to become like euphoria to me, like a drug-induced haze, longing to hold on to the feeling. The final one, though: XXI - The World. The conclusion's near at hand? My venture's nearly over? Or is it that my fulfilment of this town is complete?

Post tips for overcoming writers' block. Help our friends succeed.

TIP:

If you have trouble getting from Point A to Point B, try this.

Summarize major events in your story and organize them in the order you want them to happen.  EX: "Squire Richard discovers that Lord Evil is his real father."

List minor events you want to happen and move them to the place they fit best. EX: "Squire Richard gets drunk in a tavern and accidentally spills wine on Deceptra Badness. They become friends in the ensuing conversation. They do not recognize each other."

String the summaries together into one. EX: "Richard discovers that Lord Evil is his real father. Consumed with despair and losing his sense of purpose, he gets drunk in a tavern, where he accidentally spills wine on a disguised Deceptra Badness. Not recognizing each other, they grow close and spend the evening locked in a heartfelt conversation. Ironically, Deceptra is the one who convinces Richard to continue his quest."

TIP:

If you are suddenly overcome with inspiration for a scene or line of dialogue, take steps to remember it. Walk yourself through it several times, aloud or in your head. Write it down as soon as you can. Do not trust yourself to remember otherwise, and do not assume your idea is trash because it came to you in the shower.

"Of course there will be consequences. There will always be consequences. Does that mean you should do nothing? Of course not! Only fools choose to do nothing rather than face consequences. Fools and cowards. I cannot turn my back on those people, let that monster do as he pleases while he hides behind his name and his gold. It is my duty, as a warrior and a man of God, to right wrongs such as this even if I die. Do you not feel the same, or have I crossed half the world with a coward at my side?" --While standing on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere.

It is bumpy due to the fact that you use a coma almost every sentence....

There is nothing wrong with skipping to the conclusion but if you call you a balance between you using a coma and not using a coma then that woud make it a lot smoother. (If that makes sense)

I like it but like you said you need to improve on it. It feels a little bumpy and you might want to check your grammar, verb tenses and wording in a couple places. Aside from that this a good start and the prologue is quite interesting

I'll give you some links I found on my bookmarks:

1, 2
in these two you'll find a masterpost with lots of other helpful links!!

Writing sites: Writer's Cafe, Mibba (haven't been on this site for a long time, not sure if it's still the same), Advice to Writers
it helps to get feedback from other writers, but always remain loyal to your original style of writing.

(Oh and I think this topic goes in here. but am unsure)