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Marian5390

Marian5390

Member Since 26 Aug 2013
Offline Last Active Feb 19 2018 09:21 PM

#1708712 So, I'm taking a creative writing course...

Posted by Marian5390 on 24 January 2016 - 05:24 AM

I absolutely love it

This is the motivation I need to keep writing my novel series

 

I was so confused when I randomly got more replies to this. xD

Nevertheless, thank you very much! ^-^ I wish you luck in your writing!

 

Well, as I use the dark forum theme, you've successfully managed to murder my eyes with your blue text. Even so, I enjoyed it. It feels alive. Hard to do without forcing the imagery.

 

Ahhhh, sorry, I don't remember why I used to do that. I still cringe when I see my old comments on things. xD

And thank you! I've actually been feeling quite down about my writing style recently, so that's really nice to hear. ^^

 

The only thing I can say (caffeinated and just after an exam, so I beg my pardon), is that the first description may be a bit too corny. But since that's practically its purpose, it's fine.

And I'll just give one piece of advice (although you are probaby aware of it, but hey, just in case): writing will not always be a piece of cake. Sometimes you're probably going to get reeeeally unmotivated. In that case, I recommend you to try selfmotivation, thinking about the good sides of writing until you get the crack. And, of course, discipline.

Sorry if I sound conceited .P.

 

Ugh, I reread it and it felt quite wordy. I noticed some punctuation errors (repeated occurrences of "it's" instead of "its") and other things that got past my initial five proofreadings too, some awkward word choices and such. Strange, because the last few times I reread this I was still quite fond and proud of it.

But, being able to critique and view new flaws in old works that I once adored only means that I've been improving, so I'm actually quite happy. ^^ And I'd actually say that was pretty decent writing for the age I was when I wrote it. I'm pretty satisfied. (I'm still going to edit the parts that bother me. xD)

--Edit--

I didn't edit it too much - wanted to stay true to the original. Nevertheless, fixed the possessive "its" error, the blue text, and a "so" that seemed out of place to me. ^^




#1632787 You are now married to your Avatar

Posted by Marian5390 on 23 August 2015 - 03:23 PM

*Reads title*

.....

....................

Well, shit.




#1188716 So, I'm taking a creative writing course...

Posted by Marian5390 on 04 April 2014 - 10:21 PM

Hi there! ^^ Well, as the title says, I'm taking a creative writing course. And, as I was complaining about having to stop reading manga and go read a book for a book report (even though I'm actually quite enjoying the book xD) in my status, someone wished me luck and I mentioned that I could finally get back to my manga after just 500 more words for my creative writing course. They told me I should post the finished project here, so I shall. ^^ But! Before I do, let me explain a little: Essentially, my assignment was to describe a barn (and, if I wished, the surrounding scenery) two different ways. I'll post a complete copy-paste of what I was asked to do after the two descriptions, because I think it would be cooler if you didn't know exactly what I was trying to do when you read them. However, go ahead and read about what I'm doing first, I'm just happy you're reading what I wrote! xD So anyways, here goes:

 

Claire's clear blue eyes glowed with excitement as she approached the dilapidated old barn. Its bright red paint, though peeling in places, shone like a beacon, guiding her confidently towards the family that she hadn't seen in what felt like years.

The sun out on the field was bright, and she could not see inside the windows, despite the cracks and breaks in the reflective glass surface through which the daylight was surely peeking.
Oh, what lovely windows, broken as they were! Claire smiled fondly at the memories of poking - or sometimes dashing - through them to look at or hide from one of her siblings as a kitten.
The sights and sounds of summer surrounded her, and she was walking slowly to ensure that she took them all in: Bees, humming gently as they searched for nectar to feed on; Butterflies and moths, dancing out of the grass to avoid being stepped on by all the creatures milling about - men and women, cats, dogs, horses, children - all tumbling about in play, any negative feelings having already been blown away by the soft summer breeze.
It was beautiful. Bright, summer flowers, gently swaying back and forth, locked in a gentle slow dance with the grass and other plants. Everything shone. Everything glowed. And the early afternoon sunlight emphasized the wonder even more as it turned the scenery a bright yellow - even gold in some places.
Cows grazed placidly all around her, content with the sunshine that warmed their coats. Claire, on the other hand, was burning under her luxurious black pelt, so she picked up her pace from a slow amble to a steady trot.
Once inside the barn, Claire breathed a sigh of relief. The cool, mossy air surrounded her, and she inhaled deeply. It smelled like home. She looked about, taking in all the familiar sights, the sounds, the smells. The damp wood smelled ever so slightly of the moss that had crept its way in among the floorboards, but mostly it just smelled like wood. Another major, notable smell was the hay: It was sweet and milky and warm, drastically contrasting with the calm, cool air it filled.
A small trickling could be heard from the hole in the wall where the stream got in. The wind that crept in through the broken door and cracked windows gently stirred the otherwise still air, making a slight chorus of rustling to add to the tiny trickle.
The golden-yellow hay shone in places, briefly illuminated by the sunlight that danced about on the floor of the barn, getting in through holes in the roof more than through the windows, fading in and out as the few clouds that were present - scarce as they were - raced across the sun, pushed along by the ambling wind.
Claire trotted up to the stream and flopped down beside it, grateful for the cool shade inside the barn. With nothing else to do, she looked up at the rafters above her, watching insects fly in and out of holes in the roof and windows, all buzzing about with unknown destinations.
She layed her head on her paws and closed her eyes.
Eventually, the noises around her faded from her consciousness as she drifted into a peaceful sleep.
 
~*~*~*~*~*~
 
Hot.
It was horribly, oppressively hot. The scant breeze did nothing to counteract the torrid, humid air as Claire slunk silently toward the barn.
The barn was old, with the red paint peeling in places, letting show the dull, ugly brown beneath. Claire glared at it. The cracked, broken windows looked spooky and depressing - One might think the barn was haunted, save for the fact that it was for too run-down and ugly for even a ghost to want.
All around her, the sun shone and the birds chirped and everyone else whirled about in play, as if to taunt her. Only, perhaps, the butterflies and moths were not happy, as they hurried out of their hiding spots in the grass to escape the men and women, cats, dogs, horses, children, dancing about, completely ignorant of where they put their feet.
Cows littered the ground, eating away at the greenery without a care in the world, apparent completely satisfied with their meaningless lives. What stupid creatures.
Horses trudged about with humans on their back, surely dreaming sullenly of the day when they could walk freely without such a heavy burden upon them.
The blindingly bright flowers swayed helplessly in the breeze, chained to their spots in the earth, completely unable to control their own movements or even to dodge the feet that carelessly trampled them.
Finally, after walking for ages through the bright, hot sunshine, Claire arrived at the barn.
The broken door hung limply on its hinges, resigned to its fate of never being repaired. The moment Claire brushed through it, she was hit full in the face by the clammy air inside, yet more humid than the torrid world on the other side of the door.
It smelled so strongly of the moss and mildew that had invaded the damp, rotting floorboards and surely by now crept into the hay as well.
The hay itself was illuminated by patches of sunlight that forced their way in through holes in the roof and walls, preventing Claire from finding a patch of shade even in this awful place.
Through one of the many holes in the building's structure, a small stream crept its way across the floor, its presence no doubt contributing greatly to the oppressive humidity around her. Its bubbling, babbling trickle joined in with the raucous clamor of all the other summer noises, making the day yet more unbearable. She resigned herself to sitting beside the stream in the largest patch of shade she could find. Above her, insects buzzed noisily, ducking in and dashing out of the structure for unknown reasons, though Claire wouldn't be surprised if all they were trying to do was make yet more noise.
The dull brown rafters that hung over her head were nearly grey with mold, surely contributing to the damp stink that filled the dank air.
Claire sighed. There was nothing to do now but wait, so Claire lay her head down on her paws and did so. It was likely the only possible relief from her boredom was to sleep, so she closed her eyes and hoped for sleep to come.
 
And now, what I was attempting to do:
 
Week 17
 
Point of view (mood)
Purpose: To learn how a story changes depending on the mood of the
narrator.
 
This exercise is a modified version of a famous exercise created by John Gardner, who was a novelist and greatly respected teacher of fiction who died at the very young age of 49 in a motorcycle accident. (Forty-nine may not seem like a young age to you now, but trust me—it is.) This week, you’re going to describe a barn. That’s right, a simple old barn. You’re free to imagine whatever you want: the cows near the barn, the color of the paint, the smell inside, the feel of the boards, anything at all. (Remember the Five Senses!)
Here’s the thing, though: Your assignment is to describe the barn not once, but twice. The first time, you’re going to describe the barn as someone who’s really happy. In the second example, you’re going to describe the same barn as someone who’s really sad. Don’t tell us that the first character is happy or that the second character is sad, though you may wish to figure out for yourself why they are. In fact, it’s probably
a very good idea to come up with some explanation to yourself. I hope you’ll agree that these two people are likely to see the same things very differently. In fact, they’re liable to notice completely different things! One might notice the barn’s new paint job; the other might see it as an ugly job using the wrong color. One might notice the contented-seeming cows, the other the singed grass. But things don’t have to work predictably in this way, where the happy person sees the glass half full and the sad person is a
pessimist. The happy person might see a barn in complete ruin, but he may be teeming with new plans for it; he could rhapsodize about all the wonderful things that he’s going to improve about his barn! And in the case of the sad person, he might be looking at a state-of-the-art barn—there might even be a robot who milks the cows!—but can find no joy in it because he’s so depressed. Whenever you’re describing something that isn't in front of you and you’re stuck, use the Five Senses:
How does it taste?
What does it smell like?
How does it feel?
What does it sound like?
What does it look like?
For each viewpoint, write 500 words. These should be more than notes for a story or casual observations. You should compose these words as if they are part of an actual short story. You, the author, are giving us 500 words on a character’s view of this barn. You can present that view in first-person
or third-person.

 

That was a direct copy-paste from the PDF I have of the course. xD

So, what do you think? Did I do well? Any critique, or suggestions, or anything? I wanna hear your thoughts! ^^




#858342 Ummm... Hi...? *Hides under the covers*

Posted by Marian5390 on 26 August 2013 - 12:59 PM

Um, hi... (prepare for a run-on sentence)

I think the users here will be really nice and I want them to be nice but I'm really scared they won't be and had to push myself to post but I posted so yay! *pant, pant*

......Please be nice..... xD

Meh, don't worry about me and the knot of nervousness in my stomach, it'll go away soon. I'm just really weird right now because it's after 9 AM and I haven't slept yet. ^^'

...See? I just previewed the post and I feel fine now. Man I'm tired. xD




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