1984 replies to this topic

[i dont know]

the question mark on my keyboard  isn't working anymore D:

[aida]

i dont feel like doing anything and i hate doing nothing too its like im stuck in an endless loop i try doing something and after an hour im again whit doing nothing and not feeling to do anything i dont feel like reading anything and watching anime which creeps me out cause its the only thing i never get sick of it and soon holidays will be over and i have to go back to that shitty city that i hate whit all my might im scared of crowded places and that fucking city is like god damn Tokyo remembering all that people makes me shiver to the bones and everyones asks me about my plans and guess what everything is so messy that i have no plan and i cant even explain to everyone that  nothing exactly nothing not even one god damn tiny piece of my life is stable so i cant make a plan i just have to go on and my only friend keeps nagging and nagging oh my god i want to make her chock and that stupid and good for nothing lazy ass boy friend ....i swear i will kill him whit my own 2 hands and my friend keeps nagging about him too i want to shout FOR GODS SAKE I KNOW MYSELF BETTER THAN U JUST KNOCK IT OFF  

i feel too old for everything. how can everything be so out of place and so messy

[Natureboy]

Been busting my butt repairing landscaping, adding more stepping stone walkways, and preparing to replant a sapling that the plumbers dug up.  Good exercise, except that my right elbow is acting up.  Tendonitis there hasn't bothered me in months. Now it's hard to know what position to put it in when I sleep.

[Horn]

"Today feels good. My head seems to be in order for once. Yeah, today's gonna be pretty nice."

 

*accidentally breaks a few vital pieces of machinery at work, and slits my finger open while doing so*

 

And strangely, I STILL feel better about today than the days my mind is in disarray. So, I guess it's less whining and more... Nah, it's definitely whining.

[Natureboy]

This time of day (solar day) on clear days the sun comes blasting in through a window in my office and makes whole lot of glare on my computer screen. On the other hand, it's a reminder to clean the cat sneezes off my panel 'cause they really show up. I get lazy and if I'm not digitizing photos/slides I'll just read around the little dots and smears. Late afternoon sun forces me into action. Afterward I can just pull the stupid drapes.

 

Prolly should buy another container of monitor cleaning wipes. Used up the last one a couple months ago.

Edited by Natureboy, 12 April 2017 - 10:28 PM.

[Natureboy]

Sound was (is?) screwed up on the cable box. Was putting out a 'surround' signal for stereo programming that totally dropped the L & R main channels. So vocals (center channel) and ambient only for musical guests on SNL. Very little sound on Colbert or Fallon (just before they went on Easter/Passover break). Some things only worked with the Spanish audio track selected.  Seemed slightly better watching some news last night.

 

Don't know whether it's a dying cable box/DVR or just Verizon screwing up the audio feed for channels that had incompletely switched to surround/HD (e.g., surround for the main programming and stereo commercials). For the past couple weeks, some programs had no digital sound output at all on the commercials. (Not so bad. Saves wear on the mute button.)  Cable box has gradually developed problems synchronizing the audio and video tracks, especially if you pause it for a bit to go do something. Now audio is almost always un-synched if you back up to catch something you missed and then use the skip function on a few commercials.

 

Got a message back in August, after some diagnostics ran, that we were eligible for a replacement 'set-top box'. Had saved programming I didn't want to "transfer to the cloud" at the time.  Besides: life not involving television. Oh well. Maybe I can find the relevant codes I wrote down then and go a couple rounds with Verizon's notoriously helpful customer service.  (They'll try hard to upsell us to a multi-room DVR. Despite only having one TV in the den.)

[acepanda]

Haven't had a decent sleep in months. FUCK SPRING!

[danfare]

i NEED A DRINK, OR TWO OR 12 need alcohol help

[@lphasheep]

i dont feel like doing anything and i hate doing nothing too its like im stuck in an endless loop i try doing something and after an hour im again whit doing nothing and not feeling to do anything i dont feel like reading anything and watching anime which creeps me out cause its the only thing i never get sick of it and soon holidays will be over and i have to go back to that shitty city that i hate whit all my might im scared of crowded places and that fucking city is like god damn Tokyo remembering all that people makes me shiver to the bones and everyones asks me about my plans and guess what everything is so messy that i have no plan and i cant even explain to everyone that  nothing exactly nothing not even one god damn tiny piece of my life is stable so i cant make a plan i just have to go on and my only friend keeps nagging and nagging oh my god i want to make her chock and that stupid and good for nothing lazy ass boy friend ....i swear i will kill him whit my own 2 hands and my friend keeps nagging about him too i want to shout FOR GODS SAKE I KNOW MYSELF BETTER THAN U JUST KNOCK IT OFF  

i feel too old for everything. how can everything be so out of place and so messy

you should definitely try yoga. and have some exercises , eat fresh vegetables and fruits. the rest will just come to place as it always supposed to be. you will see! i swear! how about u start with five jumping jacks. right now! right here! you can do it! just do it! stop thinking, stop feeling. just go! kamikaze-style! coz if u don´t make it. it won´t matter anymore. and all is going to waste! and if i haven´t already mentioned. you shall not waste anything! not even yourself! maybe get wasted, but this is a total different matter!

Sound was (is?) screwed up on the cable box. Was putting out a 'surround' signal for stereo programming that totally dropped the L & R main channels. So vocals (center channel) and ambient only for musical guests on SNL. Very little sound on Colbert or Fallon (just before they went on Easter/Passover break). Some things only worked with the Spanish audio track selected.  Seemed slightly better watching some news last night.

 

Don't know whether it's a dying cable box/DVR or just Verizon screwing up the audio feed for channels that had incompletely switched to surround/HD (e.g., surround for the main programming and stereo commercials). For the past couple weeks, some programs had no digital sound output at all on the commercials. (Not so bad. Saves wear on the mute button.)  Cable box has gradually developed problems synchronizing the audio and video tracks, especially if you pause it for a bit to go do something. Now audio is almost always un-synched if you back up to catch something you missed and then use the skip function on a few commercials.

 

Got a message back in August, after some diagnostics ran, that we were eligible for a replacement 'set-top box'. Had saved programming I didn't want to "transfer to the cloud" at the time.  Besides: life not involving television. Oh well. Maybe I can find the relevant codes I wrote down then and go a couple rounds with Verizon's notoriously helpful customer service.  (They'll try hard to upsell us to a multi-room DVR. Despite only having one TV in the den.)

this is what i call decadence! go and just cry! you deserve it!

 

...uhm, what did i wanna say? ... give me my life (posts) back! thieves! administration! somehow i got stripped off of all of my honors and titles. this is not nice!

 

p.s. just leave me be. let me be. let me go. away. for ever more and never again. my memories can not that easily erased like those posts. here i will remeber them until they fade away into darkness with all the rest. and then i will be free finally! from you. and someday i will be happy. without you. ...BATOTO!!!

Edited by @lphasheep, 28 April 2017 - 02:08 AM.

[Natureboy]

Wife is crying, saying she doesn't want to go to a doctor's appt. when we need to leave in a half-hour.  Meantime cat is attacking newly changed litter in litterbox like there's an injured mouse hiding under it.

[Horn]

Dumbfuck boss wannabe at work is really starting to grind my gears.

[aida]

i work as a translator for sport articles and the place i work for send a email it was a few pics and a link said please translate the articles below the pics so i opened the link and there is one huge site whit a big ass library.....how am i suppose to fine some few pics in this big ass site thats sooo dumb they could just open the page and send the link.i dont give a shit if they think im stupid im gonna just reply I cant find it

[pizhhh]

My social anxiety prevents me from joining a new community of people. Be it a PS4 buy and sell group on facebook, a different forum than this one, a travel group or a new church. Why can't I fuckin leave my comfort zone?

[greenguy]

I miss spamming non-stop for hours in random thoughts thread

My social anxiety prevents me from joining a new community of people. Be it a PS4 buy and sell group on facebook, a different forum than this one, a travel group or a new church. Why can't I fuckin leave my comfort zone?

leaving one's comfort zone is hard as fuck

 

personally, the easiest way to cure social anxiety is to do a deeper research on 'spotlight effect;' like realizing how everybody else is too busy thinking about themselves to actually make time thinking (or judging) you. You are not that fucking important. You are not the center of the world. Nobody cares. Just try to hold the urge of picking your nose in public and it should be fine. 

that last part is probably my ongoing downfall

Edited by greenguy, 17 May 2017 - 05:23 AM.

[Natureboy]

Wife fell on her knees yesterday. Today she can barely stand. Weeping & saying she doesn't know how we can go to her therapy appointments today, when she'll have trouble even getting to the car. 

 

Trip to my mom's farm on Friday is very much in doubt.

[greenguy]

this is a therapy this is a therapy this is a therapy 

[Natureboy]

NB TMI

*edited*

Things finally quieted down, but I don't know what to expect for the rest of the day.

Edited by Natureboy, 22 May 2017 - 01:31 PM.

[Horn]

I'm going to start looking for a new job. The current stress is just taking too much of a toll on me.

It's a shame, because I'm going to miss my workmates. Just the other day, one of them said that "What would we do without you". And I'm going to miss that, so much. I'm so happy that I'm able to bring joy to the people around me. But the current administration is just too much. It's just. Too much. I can't anymore.

Last Sunday I got to do some electrician work with a friend, at my church. Maintenance stuff. We set up lighting up on the attic. And it was sweaty, and dirty, and uncomfortable, and my muscles are sore, around the buttocks and around the shoulders. And I love it so much. And I feel like this, this is what I want to do. I want to go back again, go back to being an electrician. It feels so much better. It feels so much more purposeful than making vitamin pills. This job was only ever meant to be a stepping stone, and I've been stepping on it for long enough now.

It's been a great ride. And I love working where I do now, despite certain blemishes. But I have to leave my comfort zone. I have to do it now, while I still have the determination. I have to, I have to, I have to do it. I have to do it. Come on. We can do this. Me and myself, we can do this together. We can do it. We can DO it.

I'm gonna miss my workmates. I'm gonna miss them so much. ;_;

Edited by Horn, 22 May 2017 - 08:53 PM.

[Natureboy]

Family crisis: my dear niece tried to kill herself with pills yesterday. She's "signed in voluntarily at a local hospital" but they're still arranging a bed in facility associated with her HMO/insurance. 

 

edit: Got her checked in to an "adult mood disorders unit".  Place seemed clean and well maintained. I find it hard to assess staff training and motivation without being a patient or care-giver there.  As the closest local relative, they let me on the unit for about an hour early this afternoon, outside normal visiting hours. Although she was firmly in the grip of depression, I think I may have helped motivate her to work on learning tools for fighting depression while she's in the hospital. After all, what else is she going to do while she's there? 

Edited by Natureboy, 19 July 2017 - 01:31 AM.

[OMGWTFBBQPONIES]

bleep

Edited by OMGWTFBBQPONIES, 18 July 2017 - 07:38 PM.