{Off topic} On the subconscious incestuous feelings:
One sister's first husband was an Armenian she met while touring the Soviet Union with a US AID exhibit. Lots of cultural differences there, but I didn't notice the same sort of reaction to his joining the family as with her black second husband. Also felt relatively easy camaraderie with my other sister's Nicaraguan immigrant live-in boyfriend. (Played trombone in a Salsa band, but musicians . . .). When she later married the black drummer she met when he was playing in the same band, I had little trouble relating to him while visiting their home. It was seeing him at a (mostly white & Asian) family gathering for my dad's 70th when I noticed myself having an unexpected aversion to his skin color and features. Similar reaction repeated with the black second husband (T) that my sister didn't marry until the kids from her first marriage were both out-of-the-house living on their own. (T was childless by choice and did not want the issues of helping discipline rebellious teenagers not his own.)
I had a buried visceral reaction to male members of another "race", which I didn't discover in many years of casual contact with co-workers, etc. It also took regular warm contact with a person in that 'category' to overcome. I thought I'd long discarded the casual racism of an early childhood in segregated Oklahoma. It took a "Where the hell are these inappropriate feelings coming from?" moment to realize that my nervous system still harbored race-based reactions to black men.
Edited by Natureboy, 12 November 2016 - 01:42 AM.