10 replies to this topic

[Mystika101]

Right, hello people, I was going through the forum and was just inspired. I think I mentioned that I love language and words, and I love that you can paint pictures and scenes with them. So, here are my attempts of art through writing. I hope you enjoy them, and please feel free to critique my work, constructively would be appreciated, without too much trolling! Thanks.

(has no title, can't think of anything that would be appropriate without sounding too damned corny and morbid)

Buried beneath a plaster of smiles
a fear, so wretched, that none can see.
A secret pain carved by trials,
scarlet lines on which I flee.

Thoughts so ugly shouldn't be said
again, again they repeat, repeat.
Nothing, worthless, better off dead
all whispered in tone, lacking heat.

A frantic attempt to stop the voices,
drugs and alcohol used to drown.
Agonising over incorrect choices
made in a stupor, over broken vows.

A fool, you say, to try that method,
cause, of course, you know better.
But the voices in me, are embedded
in my head do they run without fetter.

The voices are mine, it's me who speaks.
I know best the havoc they wreak.
I tell my lies because I am weak
and still I smile, because that's all you seek.

Edited by Mystika101, 11 October 2012 - 02:24 PM.

[meaningless]

Onestly? I think that is a really good one, I read a lot in general, obviously manga, books and poetries too. I like the idea that nowadays there are people who like write poetry, I'm not very capable so I can only write like a writer on my Moleskine.
Only one advice: try to write others types of poetry, so that you can challenge yourself and "understand" better your true feelings

Good luck! Gambatte

[Yaomo]

slightly mysterious on certain points, but that's also part of what makes it good

[Mystika101]

Thanks very much! I appreciate it!

[Mystika101]

Thoughts of a Spoiled Brat

Sitting alone, surrounded by people
the thoughts I think covered inside.
Staring, smiling, laughing unblinking
wanting to talk, unable to confide.

I stare in the mirror, hate what I see
not my face but my personality.
Why can't I say the words that I feel,
those words that are written in mute appeal.

I recognise that it's a waste of time
hating but unwilling, unable to change.
So I place these feelings in rhyme
seeking the attention I crave.

Yes, yes, this is all a plea
desperately seeking for people to see me,
and yet I am unable to stop myself
revealing my unstable mental health.

But you see, I have no excuse.,
nothing to blame for my mental abuse.
My parents love me, I know that well
and my friends too, or so they tell.

All that is wrong with me, is me,
my own mind, my own personality.
So please, I beg, someone explain
why I am the cause of my own pain,
because this state is getting old,
the devil in me tightening its hold,
and more and more I want it to end,
the edge of a blade looking more a friend.

Inspired by the Rain

Silver drops fall from the sky,
vainly throwing themselves at the ground.
Can you hear natures cry,
the earth dying without a sound?


Can you see that withered tree,
that once stood mighty and oh so proud?
Can you feel that squalid breeze
that carries pollution like a shroud?

The Oceans once so filled with life
only roll with oil-slicked death.
The ice caps fall, cut with a knife
that we created with every breath.

Congratulations, well done humanity
we have conquered all we see,
and in that conquering we have killed
any future hope we want fulfilled.

By a Thread

A simple thread
.........................is all it takes, to fix what is torn,
Take the needle and pull it now
....................don't give cause for them to mourn.
In and out, pull it through
.................fix the life that you have worn.
One stitch here
............and mend the tear at the light of dawn.
Another one there
.......to close the rents that have been sawn.
Pull it tight and tie the knot
and in hope you are reborn.

Edited by Mystika101, 19 October 2012 - 10:57 AM.

[Zero King]

Very nice poems, I like the effect you did with by a thread. My favorite one is inspired by the rain, the detail in it is very descriptive. I think there needs to be more emotion or more descriptive words, I don't mean any disrespect by that. I hope to see how you grow with your poetry.

[meaningless]

I like a lot "By a Thread" too, they're very very nice. I have only one advice, hmm, the first poem I really like it, I like the feelings that you put in it because they're very serious, but try to put in it more so that everyone can really "feel" what you want to say.

[Tεία]

Mystika, these were touching and beautiful. Thank you for doing these, sharing them here.
I feel like they are really inspiring me right now *huggles*
I'd love to see more.

[Mystika101]

Thanks one and all... I will try to put more emotion, but I kinda struggle with that cause most of my negative emotions I work very hard to repress, you know, survival mechanism! (not that poetry is all about the negative, it just means that the rest of my feelings are generally a little shallower!!)
And I will try to be more descriptive... and not to be side tracked by rhyming!


Worthless

As I lie beneath heaving breathes
I wonder why I am here.
An empty feeling of senselessness
is all I am capable of.
Your rancid sweat upon my skin,
your grunting moans from deep within,
your fucked up desires mingle with mine
and two blackened souls intertwine.
An empty flash of emotionless desire,
the stupid urge to procreate,
I am only an receptacle, a toilet,
and you a means of escape.
I am faceless, an animated manikin,
a blow up doll for all to use.
Is it too much to ask for you to say no?
To resist all that I offer?
Is my body all that I am worth,
the sheath to your sword?
But no, you all believe my smiles,
you believe the shit that I spout,
believe that I am without doubt,
that all I want is a physical connection,
that I live to relieve your erection.
But inside I want more, I am not just a whore,
inside me there rests a place
where my innocence has a face.
That young girl is always there,
a small voice asking, begging, hoping
that I am not worthless.

Idiot

There can be miracles if you believe,
what a heap of crap.
Give your life and you shall receive,
just a religious trap.

There is light at the end of the tunnel,
a silver lining to every cloud.
A bunch of lines, meaningless drivel,
a salve created by the proud.

To believe these lines you're a fool,
a complete and utter idiot.
And yet of those fools count me one,
because I can't help but believe it.

Hope is everything, the key to life,
the only way we'll survive.
So cover me in all that crap,
catch me in that religious trap.
I'll look for light in the dark,
and keep alive hope's flickering spark.
And if that hope is in vain,
that there's no end to this exquisite pain,
then just before my final breath
I shall stand straight and proud,
and declare that I am an Idiot.

Edited by Mystika101, 19 October 2012 - 10:59 AM.

[meaningless]

I really like this two, "idiot" impressed me a lot, I really hope that you can grow up in poetry in that way because you're very good

Gambatte Mistika :3

[Mystika101]

Arigato Meaningless!