36 replies to this topic

[~Halen~]

From the Eyes of a Dragon

Everyday I see you put on this fake smile
But your eyes give away the pain
Dead, as if you can’t go on living
I see what others don’t

Every night I hear your sorrow
The pain in your cries cutting like a knife
Even deeper than it goes into your skin
The scars no one see, the ones you try to hide

I see the pills you swallow just to make it through the day
The cuts you make just feel the pain of living
The promises you make yourself if you could survive the day
The acting you do just to hide the self hatred

Everyone thinks you're happy
But only I know differently
What will it take to take away the pain?
To end the funeral that’s sure to happen?

[Maia]

Alright!
You posted it quicker than I thought you would, haha!
>^.^<
I'm proud of you!
Keep it up, hun!

[~Halen~]

Alright!
You posted it quicker than I thought you would, haha!
>^.^<
I'm proud of you!
Keep it up, hun!

thank you.. I have more stuff but am just unwilling to release it upon the world

[Maia]

Why not!?
My god woman!
=.=
I should hit you with a stack of papers!!!!
Then ban you from eating Ramen for a week!!!

[~Halen~]

but wait I literally eat ramen at least 4 times a week

and I am just not confident .... I go through a long proccess of letting myself put my work out

[Maia]

I will ban you... and I will make sure that Zero knows of the ban, and makes sure that it is in place. =.=

I will tell you the same thing that I JUST told Zero.
You have great talent, honey, and you should be more confident in yourself!
I will be more than willing to help you when you need it.

[~Halen~]

NOooooooooooooo!!!!

And I would gladly accept your help

[Maia]

Kekekekekekekekeke!!!!! And don't think I am joking, because if you do, I will hop onto YIM and tell him about it right away. >: )


Glad to hear it.

[~Halen~]

switch to pm

[Maia]

Agreed

[~Halen~]

the rough cut to a so far nameless poem... any feedback?

You’re an accident
Worse than trash that litters the floor
No more than a dirty door mat
For everyone to stomp all over

You’re constantly told to leave
As if in your own home you’re worthless
You spend days wandering the streets
Looking from someplace, anyplace to sleep

Scrounging around trash bins for anything to eat
Resorting to prostitution to survive on the street
Your life is meaningless, you merely survive
Your beaten and abused and left for dead

Without your meager looks, your “business” dies
Leaving you starving in the gutters
Your so cold, but to weak to move
Your life pitters out as you struggle to sleep

[Maia]

It definately shows the struggle in the life of someone who never realy had the chance to make it worth living.
The slow decline of someone who gave up hope.
Which is a sad thing to see, but still happens, sadly enough.

The only name that pops into my head when I read it the first time, was Worth

[~Halen~]

the rough cut to a so far nameless poem... any feedback?

You’re an accident
Worse than trash that litters the floor
No more than a dirty door mat
For everyone to stomp all over

You’re constantly told to leave
As if in your own home you’re worthless
You spend days wandering the streets
Looking from someplace, anyplace to sleep

Scrounging around trash bins for anything to eat
Resorting to prostitution to survive on the street
Your life is meaningless, you merely survive
Your beaten and abused and left for dead

Without your meager looks, your “business” dies
Leaving you starving in the gutters
You're so cold, but to weak to move
Your life pitters out as you struggle to sleep

I will take maia's suggestion and call it worth

It definately shows the struggle in the life of someone who never realy had the chance to make it worth living.
The slow decline of someone who gave up hope.
Which is a sad thing to see, but still happens, sadly enough.

The only name that pops into my head when I read it the first time, was Worth

thank you... >.<

[Maia]

>^.^<
You're quite welcome.

[~Halen~]

A new piece that I am working on...

Spoiler

Tearing through Flesh,
The Knife slides along
Old Scars forming new ones.
The Wrists beg to join the fun
The Arms beg for forgiveness
The Legs still drip in pleasure
The Heart cries for the loss
The Mind is already dead
The Soul prepares for demise

My own Limbs echo the emotion
That my Mind refuses to let go,
My Scars are too deep to heal.
My Wrist now sit split open
My Arms drip from ripped veins
My Legs have crippled under the strain
My Heart has turned into ash
My Mind has fled into insanity
My Soul has long since departed my body

There is no saving this life,
My Life…

Edited by Halen, 28 September 2012 - 06:43 AM.

[Frost]

That was good,

I especially liked how it was almost describing the process, one step at a time, of the end of life.

Keep it up!

[wEr4]

From the Eyes of a Dragon

Everyday I see you put on this fake smile
But your eyes give away the pain
Dead, as if you can’t go on living
I see what others don’t

Every night I hear your sorrow
The pain in your cries cutting like a knife
Even deeper than it goes into your skin
The scars no one see, the ones you try to hide

I see the pills you swallow just to make it through the day
The cuts you make just feel the pain of living
The promises you make yourself if you could survive the day
The acting you do just to hide the self hatred

Everyone thinks you're happy
But only I know differently
What will it take to take away the pain?
To end the funeral that’s sure to happen?

Considering my username here used to be fake-a-smile I very well know the feelings behind a fake smile. You've managed to portray it quite well from another person's point of view.

I love your work. Keep it up.

[~Halen~]

That was good,

I especially liked how it was almost describing the process, one step at a time, of the end of life.

Keep it up!

thank You ^-^

Considering my username here used to be fake-a-smile I very well know the feelings behind a fake smile. You've managed to portray it quite well from another person's point of view.

I love your work. Keep it up.

It was slighlty harder because
the dragon is based off a real pet
but thank you^-^

[~Halen~]

Spoiler

My hands are slipping
As I struggle to hold on
The dark abyss under me
Hides my darkest thoughts
Should I just let go?

I have tasted death
And it tastes so sweet
Can I resist the temptation?
My will power is fading
Eternal sleep calls to me

Already I can hear
My blood begging to be free
My skin waiting patiently
To be split open
No…. I must fight them

Its been to long since
I have been this close
To the edge.
Save Me from Myself
Catch my hand before
I fall….

a piece on the struggle to hold on

[~Halen~]

Spoiler

Drinking in the dark
Drowning out the demons
That keep me from living,
From being happy.

What does my life mean?
Does it even have a meaning?
When will it be worth living?
Will I forever regret that choice?

My choices left me alone
Pushing those I love away
Now it just me and this
Nearly empty bottle.

Turns on the light
Picks up the last bottle
And a gun
….. Bang…..

a piece called last shot

Edited by Halen, 29 September 2012 - 10:30 AM.