#1
Posted 14 September 2012 - 08:01 AM
Everyday I see you put on this fake smile
But your eyes give away the pain
Dead, as if you can’t go on living
I see what others don’t
Every night I hear your sorrow
The pain in your cries cutting like a knife
Even deeper than it goes into your skin
The scars no one see, the ones you try to hide
I see the pills you swallow just to make it through the day
The cuts you make just feel the pain of living
The promises you make yourself if you could survive the day
The acting you do just to hide the self hatred
Everyone thinks you're happy
But only I know differently
What will it take to take away the pain?
To end the funeral that’s sure to happen?
- Angelo. likes this
#2
Posted 14 September 2012 - 09:27 AM
You posted it quicker than I thought you would, haha!
>^.^<
I'm proud of you!
Keep it up, hun!
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#4
Posted 14 September 2012 - 09:34 AM
My god woman!
=.=
I should hit you with a stack of papers!!!!
Then ban you from eating Ramen for a week!!!
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#5
Posted 14 September 2012 - 09:41 AM
and I am just not confident .... I go through a long proccess of letting myself put my work out
#6
Posted 14 September 2012 - 09:44 AM
I will tell you the same thing that I JUST told Zero.
You have great talent, honey, and you should be more confident in yourself!
I will be more than willing to help you when you need it.
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#7
Posted 14 September 2012 - 09:48 AM
#8
Posted 14 September 2012 - 09:50 AM
Glad to hear it.
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#9
Posted 14 September 2012 - 09:56 AM
#10
Posted 14 September 2012 - 09:58 AM
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#11
Posted 14 September 2012 - 10:53 AM
You’re an accident
Worse than trash that litters the floor
No more than a dirty door mat
For everyone to stomp all over
You’re constantly told to leave
As if in your own home you’re worthless
You spend days wandering the streets
Looking from someplace, anyplace to sleep
Scrounging around trash bins for anything to eat
Resorting to prostitution to survive on the street
Your life is meaningless, you merely survive
Your beaten and abused and left for dead
Without your meager looks, your “business” dies
Leaving you starving in the gutters
Your so cold, but to weak to move
Your life pitters out as you struggle to sleep
#12
Posted 14 September 2012 - 06:58 PM
The slow decline of someone who gave up hope.
Which is a sad thing to see, but still happens, sadly enough.
The only name that pops into my head when I read it the first time, was Worth
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#13
Posted 14 September 2012 - 07:22 PM
the rough cut to a so far nameless poem... any feedback?
You’re an accident
Worse than trash that litters the floor
No more than a dirty door mat
For everyone to stomp all over
You’re constantly told to leave
As if in your own home you’re worthless
You spend days wandering the streets
Looking from someplace, anyplace to sleep
Scrounging around trash bins for anything to eat
Resorting to prostitution to survive on the street
Your life is meaningless, you merely survive
Your beaten and abused and left for dead
Without your meager looks, your “business” dies
Leaving you starving in the gutters
You're so cold, but to weak to move
Your life pitters out as you struggle to sleep
I will take maia's suggestion and call it worth
It definately shows the struggle in the life of someone who never realy had the chance to make it worth living.
The slow decline of someone who gave up hope.
Which is a sad thing to see, but still happens, sadly enough.
The only name that pops into my head when I read it the first time, was Worth
thank you... >.<
- Maia likes this
#14
Posted 14 September 2012 - 09:46 PM
You're quite welcome.
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#15
Posted 28 September 2012 - 06:38 AM
Edited by Halen, 28 September 2012 - 06:43 AM.
#16
Posted 28 September 2012 - 05:13 PM
I especially liked how it was almost describing the process, one step at a time, of the end of life.
Keep it up!
#17
Posted 28 September 2012 - 05:19 PM
From the Eyes of a Dragon
Everyday I see you put on this fake smile
But your eyes give away the pain
Dead, as if you can’t go on living
I see what others don’t
Every night I hear your sorrow
The pain in your cries cutting like a knife
Even deeper than it goes into your skin
The scars no one see, the ones you try to hide
I see the pills you swallow just to make it through the day
The cuts you make just feel the pain of living
The promises you make yourself if you could survive the day
The acting you do just to hide the self hatred
Everyone thinks you're happy
But only I know differently
What will it take to take away the pain?
To end the funeral that’s sure to happen?
Considering my username here used to be fake-a-smile I very well know the feelings behind a fake smile. You've managed to portray it quite well from another person's point of view.
I love your work. Keep it up.
Rien ne pèse tant qu'un secret...
#18
Posted 29 September 2012 - 12:40 AM
thank You ^-^That was good,
I especially liked how it was almost describing the process, one step at a time, of the end of life.
Keep it up!
It was slighlty harder becauseConsidering my username here used to be fake-a-smile I very well know the feelings behind a fake smile. You've managed to portray it quite well from another person's point of view.
I love your work. Keep it up.
the dragon is based off a real pet
but thank you^-^