55 replies to this topic

[Aote]

FML, is one of my favorite websites for two reasons. It makes me feel infinitely better about my own day and because the just freakin' funny. So I thought about it and came to the conclusion that Batoto should have a place where people can vent about their lives with long stories or short remarks. Not only because they're angry but also because they want other people to laugh. So without further interruption...


Obviously today wasn't the best day I've had. My bad luck started in the morning when I went up and down a total of fifty flights of stairs just to find a teacher who wasn't even at school. After that I realized that I hadn't finished my physics project. So I spent most of my morning B.S'ing a project that was gonna count a good portion of my grade. When lunchtime came around, I then realized that I hadn't done any of my math homework which happened to be my next class. So I skipped lunch, went to the bookstore, and bought a small pizza and a Cherry Coke. I burnt my pizza in the microwave but I didn't care. So I walked out of the bookstore with my scalding hot pizza and my freezing cold Cherry Coke. While I was walking up the stairs I dropped my pizza on my white, button down shirt, my expensive tie and my khaki pants (school uniform).

So I went back down to the bookstore and bought a pepperoni hot pocket and again I put it in the microwave to long. So I headed up a number of staircases leading up to the school Writing Center (a fairly quiet place to do homework or screw around but not as quiet or as strict as the library). Finally I get to Writing Center and settle my self down at a computer. When I realized something. I didn't have my backpack. So I tried to relax and think about where I could have put it while I bite into my hot pocket. It was scalding hot. And I yelled out apparently too loud because I got kicked out of the library. So I found I kid who had the same math book as I did and I did the math homework (copied the answers from the back of the book) in a pen. After that my hand was sort of sweaty so I wiped them on my shirt and pants.

Then with five minutes 'till math class I ran all around campus looking for my backpack. I was in a dead sprint for minutes at a time, flying up a down random stair cases. When finally I was too sweaty and too tired to care where my backpack was placed or even what time it is was. So I popped my head into the nearest bathroom to half to see how bad I looked and half to freshen up. Imagine having a toddler throw marinara sauce on you for a whole minute. Okay now image having someone wipe blue stuff all over you shirt and your pants. Okay now mix that. That image you are imagining makes me like like a mythical god. I looked downright awful. It didn't take me long to realize that the pen I used to do my homework with was leaking. And when I went to wipe my "sweaty" hands on my shirt and pants I was wiping ink all over me. I had to change. So I picked up a random shirt at the lost and found. Then I started walking back up to my math class

When I got there I didn't even pay attention to the eyes following me. I just sat down and watched the teacher. It turned out that we didn't look at the homework that caused me all the trouble in the first place. I was beyond enraged. I stayed that way all the way up until the I arrived at my next class Spanish. And today just happened to be the first day of the National Spanish Exam which of course I forgot to study for.

I got through it all right but I would hate to see my grade.

Finally after a good band rehearsal. I had physics. Simply my groups project failed. If I were to go into detail I might break my computer. Anyway the moral of this story is...


FML!

[Katzilla]

I thought you were gonna talk about the XML language. .__.

[Sieg]

Sounds like a fun day.

[Aote]

It was.

[Buttock Follicle]

Omg i love that fml website xD always such jilarious stories

[Lalbutt]

i have nothing effed up in my life (atm)
So here are some lolsome fml's i found~

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

Today, I wake up, switch on TV and the first thing I see is the picture of a wanted rapist who looks just like me. I’m afraid to leave home. FML

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

[Aote]

Nice ones...

Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holidays with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML

Today, my boss fired me because he wants to start dating my mother and apparently doesn't want it to be "awkward." FML

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML


Lol

[Buttock Follicle]

"Mum, I want to be a hooker."

That's what Barbie and Ken must've said lol

[Aote]

"Mum, I want to be a hooker."

That's what Barbie and Ken must've said lol

LOL

Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML

Today, I cycled 30 minutes through hail and rain to get my pregnant girlfriend the crisps she was craving. When I made it back, she didn't want them anymore. FML

Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

[pizhhh]

We had pizza for dinner, but I couldn't enjoy it properly because of this goddamn sore on my tongue. FML.

Edited by Pizhhh, 17 April 2012 - 12:08 PM.

[Aote]

Sucks...

Today my friends and I were supposed to go to school meeting together. The ditched me to play Yu gi oh. FML.

[Buttock Follicle]

http://m.fmylife.com/health/14373972 - Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

http://m.fmylife.com/love/3991086 - Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

[Aote]

http://m.fmylife.com/health/14373972 - Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

http://m.fmylife.com/love/3991086 - Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

First one was hilarious.

Yesterday, my favorite aunt told me that she would be moving back to my city. That same night she told me that she got a better job offer back at her place...

FML

[Buttock Follicle]

Lol, that was just too good to remain unknown XD

[Angelo.]

[Aote]

Today was Mother's Day and I completely forgot. Now I'm pretty my mom's crying in her bedroom.

-FML

[pizhhh]

Today was Mother's Day and I intentionally forgot. Now I'm pretty sure my mom's crying in her bedroom.

-FML

[Aote]

LOL

[Horn]

Today was Mother's Day and Kuroiikawa forgot. Now I'm crying in my bedroom.

[Kreian]

*gives flowers
now if you excuseme ill go play some basketball see you all later... maybe