42 replies to this topic

[~BeanBun~]

This might be a weird question to ask but how do you deal with bullying. Have you ever been bullied before or were you the bully. My little sister is experiences it at school and I honestly don't know how to help her. She hasn't told our parent yet and the only advice I could give her was to fight back. I know this is a pretty lame advice to give her but it worked for me when I was younger. However, she is very different from me and it make me sad knowing that she is suffering like this. So welp me >°<

Edited by SpicyRedy&Hot, 05 June 2014 - 12:21 AM.

[Lanfear]

I honestly wish I could. I have never been bullied nor have I ever seen it happen to somebody* else. I have no idea what you should do but I'll just say you should tell your parents. That's all I can say since I don't know anything about the matter ._.

(You could always kill them)

Edited by Lanfear, 05 June 2014 - 12:29 AM.

[Satoshi-]

In the 4th grade I was bullied for a bit by 2-3 kids. I was the smallest in my class so I was the easiest target. Their was not much physical bullying except maybe for a few times but it was mostly verbal abuse. At that time I would either try my best to ignore them or had some good friends to help me. I was a small and shy child back then so I didn't really "fight back". I hated violence or fighting in general back then. The best advice I can give her would be too either have more confidence and don't let it get it to her and keep fighting back in her mind or maybe get some help from her friends? That's what I did back then. Well if I was bullied now which is doubtful I would have enough confidence now to tell them to back off. Having confidence is the best advice I can give or maybe to tell someone else about it? It all depends on what type of bullying and how bad it is. I can't give you a right answer because it all depends on the situation and your sister as well. 

Edited by Satoshi-, 05 June 2014 - 12:40 AM.

[~BeanBun~]

I honestly wish I could. I have never been bullied nor have I ever seen it happen to somebody* else. I have no idea what you should do but I'll just say you should tell your parents. That's all I can say since I don't know anything about the matter ._.

(You could always kill them)

I don't think my parent would help much. They would just pressure the school to do something and from what I have seen teacher don't do much.

(I thought about that but I might loss might license to be a doctor.u_u)

In the 4th grade I was bullied for a bit by 2-3 kids. I was the smallest in my class so I was the easiest target. Their was not much physical bullying except maybe for a few times but it was mostly verbal abuse. At that time I would either try my best to ignore them or had some good friends to help me. I was a small and shy child back then so I didn't really "fight back". I hated violence or fighting in general back then. The best advice I can give her would be too either have more confidence and don't let it get it to her and keep fighting back in her mind or maybe get some help from her friends? That's what I did back then. Well if I was bullied now which is doubtful I would have enough confidence now to tell them to back off. Having confidence is the best advice I can give or maybe to tell someone else about it? It all depends on what type of bullying and how bad it is. I can't give you a right answer because it all depends on the situation and your sister as well.

Sorry to hear about that. So far its only verbal abuse. She does have friends but they all in different classes then her. I like you idea of confidence but how did you becomes confident?

[DVerde]

So... Let's discuss what's wrong here.

 

You, somehow, have the ability to ask us but you don't talk to her parents, teachers, or superiors? If the teachers aren't doing anything, then talk to their superiors. If those superiors aren't doing anything, and it escalates, you can, and should, file a legal report. Parental intervention is the first step, though.

Edited by DVerde, 05 June 2014 - 01:02 AM.

[Satoshi-]

I don't think my parent would help much. They would just pressure the school to do something and from what I have seen teacher don't do much.

(I thought about that but I might loss might license to be a doctor.u_u)Sorry to hear about that. So far its only verbal abuse. She does have friends but they all in different classes then her. I like you idea of confidence but how did you becomes confident?

 

For a while I had a passive attitude towards them but suddenly in my mind I was sick of it and tried to "fight back". I told myself I had to be more confident so they would leave me alone. Bullies don't go after people that are always confident about themselves. You just can't let it get to you. If they can tell that you are not bothered by it eventually they will go away. I can't really explain exactly how I got more confident but I was sick of the bullying and eventually it gave me confidence to do something about it. It kind of just happened. I guess I snapped. I don't think that's really any help but that is what happened in my situation. 

So... Let's discuss what's wrong here.

 

You, somehow, have the ability to ask us but you don't talk to her parents, teachers, or superiors? If the teachers aren't doing anything, then talk to their superiors. If those superiors aren't doing anything, and it escalates, you can, and should, file a legal report. Parental intervention is the first step, though.

This can work out as well. 

[DVerde]

 

This can work out as well. 

 

That is the *only* way for it to "work out well". I would advise people to not do what you did/happened to you, as that can lead to a whole nother' set of problems. Depending on the person/situation.

Edited by DVerde, 05 June 2014 - 01:14 AM.

[Satoshi-]

That is the *only* way for it to "work out well". I would advise people to not do what you did/happened to you, as that can lead to a whole nother' set of problems. Depending on the person/situation.

Well yeah, it all depends on the person/situation. It worked out well for me but that doesn't mean it will work out well for everyone. I was just stating that it's better to have confidence in oneself then to have none. The thing is it can happen again if you don't have any confidence in yourself. Contacting your parents, teachers, and their superiors is a good way to go but it might happen again in a never ending cycle if your still not confident. I don't really know her or the whole situation so I can't say for sure if she is confident or not but yeah i'm just saying its good to be confident in oneself. But yeah I keep repeating myself lol. You should do this first but at the same time confidence is the key in my opinion. 

 

Also I never actually "fought back". So as long as you never use violence it won't cause anymore new problems. I just ignored them and was more confident and they eventually stopped. 

Edited by Satoshi-, 05 June 2014 - 01:45 AM.

[Maia]

The best advice I can offer, because I went through the bullying, is don't let her give them the satisfaction of seeing a reaction. If they know it affects her, they will continue it, and do worse. If she ignores it and doesn't let them see how much it really does bother her, they will eventually get bored of it and move on. Bullies bully people because they, themselves, lack any kind of self confidence, therefore they feel the need to pick on others just to make themselves feel better. If they find that someone isn't bothered by it, they get bored of it.

 

Another thing she can do is completely throw them off by just smiling and wishing them a good day, though the latter part I might not go with.

 

For a while I had a passive attitude towards them but suddenly in my mind I was sick of it and tried to "fight back". I told myself I had to be more confident so they would leave me alone. Bullies don't go after people that are always confident about themselves. You just can't let it get to you. If they can tell that you are not bothered by it eventually they will go away. I can't really explain exactly how I got more confident but I was sick of the bullying and eventually it gave me confidence to do something about it. It kind of just happened. I guess I snapped. I don't think that's really any help but that is what happened in my situation. 

This can work out as well. 

Follows right along with Satoshi's advice. It honestly does work, and quite well. Sometimes fighting back can make it worse.

[Supreme_Lurker_Primo]

Depends, The legal way is to do what DVerde suggested, because that is the best way to not get involve with the legal issues, some teachers do not want to deal with the issue and diverge it to something else. So Do the DVerde suggest first, and if the bully get worst after that, well I cannot say what to do.

 

I am small, I am not white, so I stood out. I grew in the ghetto part of city...Nevermind, my advise won't do you any good

[SoundSpark]

I'm sorry to hear about your sister and her situation. Just know this violence may seem like the easy solution but, it can go south very fast. The easiest and simplest but, best solution is to talk to someone that have the power to do more then you maybe able to do and if they don't listen go to someone higher up the chain. Most schools if not all schools have policies in place for bullying cases. Not to mention if it gets out of hand and leads to them physically attacking your sister and leaving brushes it can lead to the cops getting involved.

 

 

tl;dr - Get your parents/teachers/counselors/principal involved.

Edited by SoundSpark, 05 June 2014 - 03:32 AM.

[Murdath]

Solving Bullying:

• Record the insults, have her configure her phone to start recording at the push of a quick button. Let more than one adult hear it. Some might just say they will do something but then do nothing.
• Upload said recording to youtube, facebook and make sure to give real names, address and school name too.
• Video Recording from a friend would be epic too.
• Link their facebook profiles in the video/recording descriptions.

Edited by Murdath, 05 June 2014 - 03:55 AM.

[Linkd]

Nobody's picked a fight with me since but when I was bullied I ignored hit the breaking point and kicked the guy in his pills so hard...we'll I hope the damage wasn't permanent :/ that's really all that's happened again no ones bothered me since

[Maia]

 

Solving Bullying:

• Record the insults, have her configure her phone to start recording at the push of a quick button. Let more than one adult hear it. Some might just say they will do something but then do nothing.
• Upload said recording to youtube, facebook and make sure to give real names, address and school name too.
• Video Recording from a friend would be epic too.
• Link their facebook profiles in the video/recording descriptions.

 

While that could work in some cases, it is not always foolproof. Doing that can also lead to further problems. I've seen it happen in more than one bullying incident and the results were not pretty. If it were that simple I would say go for it, but its not.

 

Another thing that she might do is gather her friends to her. Being in a larger group of people at any given time can reduce the amount of bullying. If she doesn't have that many people who are close to her, then its as SoundSpark said, go to the school authorities about it and see what can be done from there.

[Murdath]

While that could work in some cases, it is not always foolproof. Doing that can also lead to further problems. I've seen it happen in more than one bullying incident and the results were not pretty. If it were that simple I would say go for it, but its not.

 

Another thing that she might do is gather her friends to her. Being in a larger group of people at any given time can reduce the amount of bullying. If she doesn't have that many people who are close to her, then its as SoundSpark said, go to the school authorities about it and see what can be done from there.

But this way they learn that there are real consequences. It's called first degree social homicide, as family, friends and random people will be able to see that a person they know is a Bully. Depending on how bad it is, people may not even want to be close to the Bully again, as it would be social suicide to do so.

[Maia]

That is highly debatable, especially in the case of said bully's friends. For all we know, the friends could be in on the bullying and thus the bully would not be affected by them knowing. And therein would lie the next problem. Bully gang up. Not an uncommon factor. Also, another thing about using that kind of method. The FCC could come back on them if they don't make it clear that the bully is being recorded and the victim would be the one going up on charges, not the bully.

[GeorgeAlex]

This might be a weird question to ask but how do you deal with bullying. Have you ever been bullied before or were you the bully. My little sister is experiences it at school and I honestly don't know how to help her. She hasn't told our parent yet and the only advice I could give her was to fight back. I know this is a pretty lame advice to give her but it worked for me when I was younger. However, she is very different from me and it make me sad knowing that she is suffering like this. So welp me >°<

 

I was being bullied during elementary and high school and I always ignore them until one time I got irritated, punched one of them in the face and I didn't know his nose got dislocated. We're called to the guidance office; our parents were summoned as well. After that, bullies come after me almost everyday. Then after a while they stopped, they probably got tired because we're just going in an infinite loop. I fight back all the time. 

 

As for your sister, it's not a lame advise. That'd teach her to stand up for herself and be strong for her own good, but as you said, she's different from you, it's good that you know so that you'd get your parents informed. That's the part where i'm wrong because I didn't do it. I was scolded by her pretty bad. Of all the people who should know first what's happening, it's your parents. If you can get your parents informed about it, they'll ask assistance from the people inside the school for protection. Maybe monitor that bully and the other kids doing the same thing and if it gets out of hand, leave it to the ones with higher authority.

[Horripilating Sea Cucumber]

My experience.

Spoiler

 I was bullied back in year 8. I wasn't having a great time back at home and I was trying to make new friends. I still liked to stay optimistic and I was able to ignore things. Though, I'd still easily cry (i was a crybaby...) The friends I had I didn't completely trust and I held it in and didn't want to be a burden to others. I went to school with swollen eyes but I was alright at school. 

Then a photo triggered it all. I posted a picture of my class and a girl wasn't in it. After a tiny misunderstanding, the principle's son (who was in my class) started putting me on the spot. I couldn't argue back. Others joined him and ganged up on me. I had no experience in arguing and I didn't know what to do. I deleted the comments and even that didn't help. I was at loss and back in tears. I decided to log out and not go back. But I couldn't hold the temptation and went back to read it. Which of course, you should never do. By the time I got off from the computer I was too hurt. I took it too personally. The stuff at home didn't help. I went to school the following day still suppressing my tears. I avoided the bullies but it was hard cuz they were in all my classes. I got scolded and I started sniffling. I pretended it was okay but the bullies saw. After we left the clas they started poking fun at me in person. As a kid with short temper I snapped, I couldn't just cry. I looked up and slapped him in the face. I realised I lost control and I was afraid that he would tell his father. I decided to run off, and I ended up in the nurse' office. I guess I had her as a friend who I could trust. (I had spent quite a few times cuz of my weak stomach when I was younger..) She let me stay and I skipped a lesson... I was a goody-two-shoes and I was afraid that the school would tell my parents about it. I got a note later so it was okay.

At the end of the day, I went home, I blocked/reported/deleted the bullies and avoided them at all cost. They never came up to me or spoke to me. But the thing was I stood up to them. It felt nice. Refreshing even. Well my school was very anti-bullying and if it were to happen, its verbal or online. But it never takes on a grand scale so maybe the environment I was in helped me.

 

Anyway as for your sister if you know it go help her. What's stopping you from telling the teachers/parents? I guess it could depend on the type of people there are around. But if there's ever a problem speak up. Take action. Just listening is not enough. I mean I agree with Dverde here. 

 

So... Let's discuss what's wrong here.

 

You, somehow, have the ability to ask us but you don't talk to her parents, teachers, or superiors? If the teachers aren't doing anything, then talk to their superiors. If those superiors aren't doing anything, and it escalates, you can, and should, file a legal report. Parental intervention is the first step, though.

 Passivity is too common these days and it just shows that you're weak. Sure you don't want to get into a fight or anything but is it not quite a selfish thought? You're not going to interfere to protect yourself. 

Your sister told you, that shows that she's relying on you and she trusts you. Do something.

 

Tell the teachers. The teachers job is to listen to students or lend a hand. If that's not the policy for them then go to someone who is willing to listen. Talk to parents. Parents have much more power over what students say as they are the customers of the school. ...or well in the case of a private school like mine >.> But parents will still have power. More than students. 

 

If adults don't help take it to your own matter. I saw that you said she was facing verbal abuse. Ignore it. I know it's hard. Especially if you're someone who takes everything personally. I did myself. Took me a while to ignore them but it worked. Like Maia said, they just want to see the reaction. Don't let them take the upper hand.

The bullies will eventually be bored and go pick on other people. If you can't ignore their words, ignore their presence. Avoid going to places they would, move away from their area asap. If they still come, go to people with authority. Become friends with a teacher. Get an ally? 

 

I can't tell with the lack of information there is. But ^ those are a few I can pass on.

[2hot4you]

While i agree talking to parents and teachers, it wont always help. The bullies will probaly see you as "weak" since you need help from others and might continue out of school. That depends on the people and the school though, but she needs to learn to stand up for herself, because there wont always be help available, like later in life. What you can do as a sis, is talk with your parents together and come to a solution together.

(In the dutch schools i went too teachers just didnt care much)