I wanted to ask about this , because I've been trying to write one and I ended up repeating a lot of words , mostly ones like "hand" and "foot" and "blood" and"flesh" etc , mostly stuff related to physical constitution _if you read my what I wrote in the story attempt topic you would have a clear idea _.....
so what I wanted to ask about ....
do you think repeating words like that in a combat scene makes it less atmospheric ?
what style do you think is the best to write a similar scene , wither be it one you utilize when writing or one your favorite writer do ...
If you have any recommendations for well-written fight scenes please share them , It would be of great help ...
the more surreal they are the better , by the way ....
also, just one more think ....
lets say that I'm building some sort of world that consist of mostly burned flesh _something like hell_ , or say is colored black and white ...
do you thing that would be a good idea ? I have fears that I will end up repeating the same words over and over ...
You want to write a realistic fight scene, talk to an actual fighter. You want a surrealistic fight scene, talk to a fantasy writer.
Honestly, I've found the best fight scenes either: a ) get very technical and describe the events of the fight in a general blow-by-blow, giving the reader and idea of how each person is moving (better for short fight scenes) or b ) glaze over most of the combat excluding an important action or sudden twist.
The Legend of Drizz't (high fantasy) books are fantastic references for swordplay and general armed combat, while The Power of One (historical fiction) did a good job in getting boxing across in both general and very specific terms.
But if you want to avoid focusing on hands or feet or specific details too much, just remember that the fight is about the characters. Show what they are doing, and how they react to each other. Their bodies and weapons are the tools with which they fight, but the characters as people are the ones in the conflict. Keep that in mind, and you shouldn't have any problems keeping the action flowing without repetition.
Or use a thesaurus and try out some new, more interesting words. Sometimes all you really need is a little more spice in your vocabulary to bring the scene completely to life.
I agree with what Strati wrote, and have very little to add.
But if you want to avoid focusing on hands or feet or specific details too much, just remember that the fight is about the characters.
Indeed, overall you can look at the quarrel as a different medium of communications. Instead of using words to bring some form of message out to the reader, they're using their fists, or swords, or any other tool of violent conduct.
As Strati said, generally highly detailed fights are very short. And when such high-technical scenes are long, the focus shifts away from what "exactly they do" to more like "How are they faring while facing each other". Think of a Dragonball Z fight scene. It's a flurry of random punches, the interesting part; the focus in such scenes, as Strati said; are the characters instead of the conduct itself. That means that the fight itself is the expression of a form of disagreement or a consequence of bad decisions which lead to a fight. I think that's why almost every shounen in existence always has overly-idealistic conversations while the characters are tossing punches (not that's a good thing, by the way).
Just to expand on this, let's say that a character is backed with a wall in a deadend street with a group of thugs facing him, closing in slowly. The character tries to fight them off, but punch by punch he loses his stamina and begins to react to the pain his nerves alert him of and his legs give out; his body crumbles as his mind shuts down with it. In such a scene the focus is the Desperation, the hopelessness of winning or escaping. Every punch the character receives expresses how less and less likely he is to win. So just like that, the focus shifts from the fight itself to what the fight means to the characters in question. You can think of it as a "metaphorical expression of his despair". Just like how a barren, empty village is a metaphorical sign for doom, fear, state of emergency and so on.
The first thing that comes to mind when I think of any battle scene is the novel Horus Rising, a Warhammer 40,000 novel. The novel pretty much starts with one big clusterfuck of planetary warfare which ranges from giant warships to the gigantic earth-bound assault squads known as the Space-Marines (the Luna Wolves in that specific scenario...Gosh, it's impossible to say "Space-Marines" without making it sound stupid ) laying siege and finally infiltrating a magnificent tower-like-atrium.
Spoiler
A short instance:
"One of the Invisibles, his charged field sparkling and crackling around him as it died, became visible
and swung his long, bladed lance at Loken(the protagonist).
The blade rebounded off Loken's helm. Loken struck low with his chainsword, ripping the lance
out of the Invisible's silver gauntlets and buckling its haft. At the same time, Loken lunged, shoulder
barging the warrior against the chamber wall so hard that the friable plaster of the ancient frescoes
crackles and fell out.
Loken stepped back. Winded, his lungs and ribcage almost crushed flat, the Invisible made a gagging
sucking noise and fell down on his knees, his head lolling forward. Loken sawed his chainsword down
and sharply up again in one fluid, practiced mercy stroke, and the Invisible's detached head bounced away."
So as you can see, it's a form of communication. Just like language, which has its own material-weight (thoughts); the physical body relays a different type of message. There's a play around 3 elements, as far as I see :
1. Input (or "stimulus", Receiving a blow, "The blade rebounded off Loken's helm")
2. Output (or "reaction", defending oneself or reacting to it in way way or another, "Loken struck low with his chainsword...")
3. Descriptive-narrative (What occurs from these reactions, "...ripping the lance out of the Invisible's silver gauntlets and buckling its haft.")
P.S: Getting some reference from books or videos is a good call, try to go to YouTube and watch some martial-arts clips and see if you can find a way to write a narrative for them.
Now, if you don't excuse me, I need to bandage my bleeding fingers.
I agree with what Strati wrote, and have very little to add.
Indeed, overall you can look at the quarrel as a different medium of communications. Instead of using words to bring some form of message out to the reader, they're using their fists, or swords, or any other tool of violent conduct.
As Strati said, generally highly detailed fights are very short. And when such high-technical scenes are long, the focus shifts away from what "exactly they do" to more like "How are they faring while facing each other". Think of a Dragonball Z fight scene. It's a flurry of random punches, the interesting part; the focus in such scenes, as Strati said; are the characters instead of the conduct itself. That means that the fight itself is the expression of a form of disagreement or a consequence of bad decisions which lead to a fight. I think that's why almost every shounen in existence always has overly-idealistic conversations while the characters are tossing punches (not that's a good thing, by the way).
Just to expand on this, let's say that a character is backed with a wall in a deadend street with a group of thugs facing him, closing in slowly. The character tries to fight them off, but punch by punch he loses his stamina and begins to react to the pain his nerves alert him of and his legs give out; his body crumbles as his mind shuts down with it. In such a scene the focus is the Desperation, the hopelessness of winning or escaping. Every punch the character receives expresses how less and less likely he is to win. So just like that, the focus shifts from the fight itself to what the fight means to the characters in question. You can think of it as a "metaphorical expression of his despair". Just like how a barren, empty village is a metaphorical sign for doom, fear, state of emergency and so on.
The first thing that comes to mind when I think of any battle scene is the novel Horus Rising, a Warhammer 40,000 novel. The novel pretty much starts with one big clusterfuck of planetary warfare which ranges from giant warships to the gigantic earth-bound assault squads known as the Space-Marines (the Luna Wolves in that specific scenario...Gosh, it's impossible to say "Space-Marines" without making it sound stupid ) laying siege and finally infiltrating a magnificent tower-like-atrium.
Spoiler
A short instance:
"One of the Invisibles, his charged field sparkling and crackling around him as it died, became visible
and swung his long, bladed lance at Loken(the protagonist).
The blade rebounded off Loken's helm. Loken struck low with his chainsword, ripping the lance
out of the Invisible's silver gauntlets and buckling its haft. At the same time, Loken lunged, shoulder
barging the warrior against the chamber wall so hard that the friable plaster of the ancient frescoes
crackles and fell out.
Loken stepped back. Winded, his lungs and ribcage almost crushed flat, the Invisible made a gagging
sucking noise and fell down on his knees, his head lolling forward. Loken sawed his chainsword down
and sharply up again in one fluid, practiced mercy stroke, and the Invisible's detached head bounced away."
So as you can see, it's a form of communication. Just like language, which has its own material-weight (thoughts); the physical body relays a different type of message. There's a play around 3 elements, as far as I see :
1. Input (or "stimulus", Receiving a blow, "The blade rebounded off Loken's helm")
2. Output (or "reaction", defending oneself or reacting to it in way way or another, "Loken struck low with his chainsword...")
3. Descriptive-narrative (What occurs from these reactions, "...ripping the lance out of the Invisible's silver gauntlets and buckling its haft.")
P.S: Getting some reference from books or videos is a good call, try to go to YouTube and watch some martial-arts clips and see if you can find a way to write a narrative for them.
Now, if you don't excuse me, I need to bandage my bleeding fingers.
You had a heck of a lot more to add than I did, that's for sure...
*shrug*
I think you pretty much covered it, all I did was to expand on a few small things. Just because I wrote a shit ton does not mean I actually added that much to the table.
In such topics, the most helpful and honest answer is usually : "Practice, practice, practice". But people want to punch you in the cunt for saying that for some reason.
@A.B
If I can add any possible tip, I suggest that you try to write anything and post it up on forums to get feedback.
thank you for the info . I could use any feedback I receive ...
and yeah , practicing is quite much the first right answer for any query . Patience comes second ...
and as for the writing ,I already did post one , it's not that fancy as it's one of my very first shots to write in English and is quite influenced by my original language in terms of allegories , which I use a lot to confiscate for the lack of vocabulary array ...
but If I don't try I won't get anywhere. So yeah ...
Personally, I think fight scenes should reflect what the character is thinking. Describe the blows he takes using the pain he feels when a fist sinks into his gut, or smashes his front teeth to splinters. When you're describing what he is doing add emotion to the description. Don't just do something like:
Buron smashed his sword into his enemy. Blood and guts flowed out as he then sidestepped a clumsy counterattack from behind him. Whirling around, he kicked out at his old friend, Kai, but his foot only met a hastily drawn shield. Buron stepped back again to regain his footing before charging back in with his sword raised.
That's okay as fight scenes go, but they're a lot more captivating if you have emotions and thoughts in them like this:
This couldn't be happening, Buron thought as he smashed his sword into his enemy, vaguely disgusted by the blood and guts oozing out of the wound he had created. No, no, no, I'm not a killer, Buron thought again as he mechanically sidestepped a clumsy counterattack that came from behind him. Whirling around he kicked out at his old friend, Kai, but thankfully, his old friend had raised his shield. Buron quickly stepped back again to regain his footing. Why, why, why do I have to kill? Why do I have to kill him? It's not fair. Thoughts ran through his head like a hailstorm and they slammed against his brain rapidly and ferociously. Resigning himself to the inevitable, he charged back in with his sword raised.
This second one's a lot better, because you get to empathize with the protagonist and are drawn into the world he's in. Battle scenes should be gory, but only if the character is one to notice such things. If the character only thinks about what's next, then emphasize that.
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) laying siege and finally infiltrating a magnificent tower-like-atrium.
