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[Travesty]

Hello. This is my first topic thread so... uh, yeah. This is for posting lyrics to any kind of song or poem that was made by you and getting feedback from other Batoto users. Freeverses are especially welcome. Let's begin:

Here it bang from Chicago to Oslo.
Face rearranged by Pablo Picasso.
A doctor of gonzo, God's own prototype.
Went from slob to apostle overnight.
I know I'm awful, I dodge it.
Better off showin' a dog a card trick, regardless.
I get into it like a pigeon poopin'.
It's so stupid that to misconstrue it,
Would be a good improvement.

It's Travesty in this bitch, you heard me (may)?
I stay legit when messing with wordplay.
Nerve pain in my wrist, big wit with a bird brain.
Gifted as a kid on his birthday.
Seen more maniacs than Natalie Merchant.
Foreplay's scratchin' the surface.
Lackin' a purpose, swagger is worthless.
Sacrilegious, spit raps to a rattlin' furnace.

Rabbits and magic tricks.
A philandering philanthropist,
With stammering lips.
I catch wreck while you're catchin' a grip.
Yo, the best yet, you're as whack as it gets.
Scratchin' a disc with a crack and a hiss.
I stack chips when I'm back in the mix.
Who thought I was a pacifist? Smack a bitch like a prodigy.
Class dismissed and I'm out so peace.

Good? Bad? Let me know.

[imrannnla]

It had its moments I gotta say, with a few punchlines and witty wordplay thrown in. I especially liked 'philandering philantropist' haha. Charitable to the ladies and the charities is what it means right? However, they were some rough parts in verses 2 and 3.

Overall a 6 or 6 1/2 for me. Keep doin what you do

Edited by imran013, 20 June 2013 - 09:49 AM.