Dhampyr

This is the first time I have ever seen a series where there was more effort put into the cover page than the actual story and the art of the series put together

The art in #2 is really bad , can't understand what im seeing at the moment....

i like the story so far but this could either get better or worse in my opinion. anyways i got a feeling this could be a great series if they work hard on it.

Thank you all so much for the feedback, we will be taking some things into consideration for the Next issue. What did you think of the art style for Issue 2? We had to replace the other artist from Issue 1. I think it is way more anime looking now, which I like.

Killing people and then confessing his love to a girl, looks like we got ourselves an alpha in the making here. I decided to follow this one as soon as I read that panel.

I agree that the art is a little rough right now but every single web comic I've ever read starts out pretty rough and greatly improves as time goes on. If you go back and read the beginning of Tower of God it looks like garbage. And the dialogue is really not THAT terrible, these characters are teenagers after all.

The problem is with the storyboarding. I understand that you might want to get through the origin quickly but you should realize that by the third page i was already skipping ahead through his childabusebackstory.

The problem isn't so much that it moves too fast, but that it doesn't emphasize things that are important. Some of the things that happen could be removed entirely, and some things should last for at least 3 pages. For instance, his dream where he is killing people. That is awesome. I would have loved to have a whole two page spread of that dream, because it's WAY more interesting than him hanging out at school and getting beaten up by bullies. But as it is, it's just this random image that doesn't even take up one entire page, so it just kind of comes out of nowhere and than vanishes. And why should he think that something is wrong with him just because he had a freaky dream? Obviously since he is thinking something is wrong, then obviously something is, but you've done absolutely nothing to establish that anything has happened other than him having a freaky dream. You could have reduced his childabusebackstory to just one panel of his guardian smacking him and it would have been more than enough to make it obvious that was what was going on.

You need to spend some time thinking about pacing, about how to build up some suspense and drop hints of things without having to include flashbacks that last for pages. And when you set up your page layouts, think about what parts of the page are most important and give them the most space. It's great that the story is going somewhere weird but if you lose readers before the 6th page because you tried to rush through the beginning and didn't plan your pages out properly, then they will never get to see the rest.

Yeah I know I wrote a lot, but believe me I wouldn't have bothered if I thought this was terrible and un-salvageable. The best way to check pages is to show them to someone who doesn't know anything about the story and see if they can figure out what's going on. If they have trouble then you know that you need to re-work things.

I was expecting more (because of the cover art) but the drawing style is horrible.

Moooooore please it's a lil fast but it's good so far the ch kinda cut abruptly though but I think this is kinda orig and it will be a good read Ty for the uploads

Ok I would like to comment on the pacing. It may seem fast to you all but I have already written over 15 chapters and I have many more planned out. The story will go in a way you aren't expecting, it may seem quick for a start but now the origin if you will is out of way we can get to the real fun stuff I have planned!

hmmmn.. uhm... interesting? This is reallllyyy fast-paced though.

Ow, my brain.

The art isn't THAT bad but holy crap the writing is atrocious.

It did jump around a bit--but the chapter is 21 pages, so the plot moving around page 6 isn't that uncommon in manga at all.
It was getting interesting but I just got thrown by the "I better not get aids or something!" line--that is going a little too far to me. =(

Looks can be decieving... Hope it improves soon.

Art is mediocre. But then, I've seen mediocre artists transform their art into something of high quality. This story, however, is pretty bad. Kudos to the creator, it's better than I could ever come close to doing. But they got a ways to go.

Well, looking at the names of the author and artist, this seems like a western comic. But well, the story seems okay, and the main characters are bad-ass, so it cancels out the art.

the art blows

vampire hunter D???

Do not like the drawing but could be worse, It is a bit stiff drawn( probably because it came direct from paper and did not had any computer enchantment ).. However it still steals my interest. Want to see more of this .

Hmm the art reminds me on some western ( i mean american ) comics. Its not bad , but there are some small issues with the shadows and peoples proportion (they seem little of on some of the pages ). Also if there were like 5-10 more pages it would have been better. For a pilot chapter they are little less than it would be expected , and also the story kicked of too fast.