Hello and welcome to The Society of Wombats! Our supreme leader Lord Wombats, is very occupied and so I the 2nd in command is here as his representative, with me, he sends his army of over 9000 wombats.
Over the years spent here, we were nearly annihilated by Ms. Colour, who also ate many of our great citizens, we call this day "The Day of Sombre Colours", to represent all the slaughter and cruelty caused by a single person who also proceeded to eat many of our members with taunting messages. Soon after an alliance was made with The Fruit Salad party, who is lead by Mel-chan. Our alliance was prepared for war and grew greatly in numbers in a matter of days to take down The Skirt Chasers, but they never presented themselves to the battlefield.
Many years past, over time the members of The Society grew curious if Mel-chan's tissue box was edible or not. Wombat #10,000 decided to test it out and bit the tissue box shaped melon. "*bites off top of tissue box* doesn't taste like watermelon. " To his displeasure, he found out Mel-chan was not in fact that tasty. Mel died later from bacteria from the wombats' mouth that infested her open wound. After a conversation with Mel-chan's spirit, we came to a conclusion that sacrificing wombat #10,000's life and reviving Mel-chan was only fair. So it was done.
A MONSTER WAS BORN!!! File declassified bellow:
Spoiler
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ENTRY: After successfully reviving Mel-chan, the results seem to form a cross-over between herself and the soul of wombat #10,000. New abilities are quite frightening. Melonbat~ Armor: hard outer shell for defense Abilities: - Equipped with large powerful claws >usage: defense and burrow underground
- strong teeth with wombat bacteria >usage: infect enemies causing them to be ill (others effects have yet to be known) acidic melon juice siliva leaks out its fangs
- melon explosion upon contact if aggitated (area effect yet to be known) > ice watermelon could slow down enemy and pierce them with watermelon shards.
- rapid firing watermelon seed bullets (2 seeds/millisecond) >seeds may spawn more melonbats given time (good for infilitration of enemy base and lanching surprise attacks)
- Overgrowth; soak in more water and sunlight cause Melonbat to grow in size.
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Peaceful, diplomatic measures were also taken in my presence against 2Lt. Roady who withheld information concerning Lord Wombats and his society. The following document has been declassified for your viewing:
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MEMORANDUM Request for: 'Awesome Stuff We Did While Wombats Was Gone' document Date: 07/02/2012 Related people: 2Lt. theroadstopshere By order of the 'Society of Wombats', I have been asked to recover the document titled 'Awesome Stuff We Did While Wombats Was Gone' by Feb. 15 2012 as this is the high commanders, Lord Wombats', date of birth. This document must be provided by Feb. 15 2012 or theroadstopshere and people affiliated with the theroadstopshere may face serious charges for withholding a document pertaining important information related to the high commander, Lord Wombats. 1. The document titled 'Awesome Stuff We Did While Wombats Was Gone' shall be handed over to the representative of the 'Society of Wombats' Over9000wombats; 2. The document will be handed over in it's original format with none of its contents removed or 'blacked out'; and 3. theroadstopshere will present at least three (3) other people who can attest to the authenticity of this document. Over9000Wombats Over9000Wombats
He complied, but was 1 day behind the due date, however, Lord Wombats decided it was in our Society's best interest to allow him to continue to live. Document declassified below:
Spoiler
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Memorandum Awesome Stuff We Did While Wombats Was Gone Document presented 12:05, five minutes past deadline, by Private Roady. Confirmed by Melon, Roady, Waldo, and Darwin. Roady: In the few painful days that Wombats departed from us, the following things happened. Specifically ‘Awesome’ moments have been bolded. Roady: Feb 20 – dire threats were sent by Private Roady to the known skirt chasers and their cohorts. Similar threat post placed on the War page (since deceased). Left computer and ate bowl of rusty nails for breakfast before hitching up harness and pulling car (89 Honda Civic) 6 miles to school. Doubled intent in pulling car of fitness training and saving gas. Attended school, then drove out to rehearsal. Beat down man at a wedding to dramatic music and screaming. Feb 21 – Checked for and awaited responses from The Enemy (Skirt Chasers). No responses had arrived, and the War page was devoid of life (ironic). Built tall, lightly fortified structures for the purpose of providing cover and stage direction. Beat down same man at same wedding, this time with a club. Feb 22 – Slept through small earthquake. Added small assistance to War, but was unable to draw out enemy. Feb 23 – Awaited return of Wombats, but was disappointed. Hunted small furry animals known to be natural rivals of Wombats with excessively large gun. Feb 24 – School. Little time to post or check online. Slammed out English Essay of 5 pages in 2 hours. Beat down man at exact same wedding, with better timing and more violence. Feb 25 – return of Wombats. Melon: Feb 20 – Was a Melon. Feb 21 – Was a Melon. Feb 22 – Was a Melon. Feb 23 – Was a Melon. Killed three men. Stuffed bodies in car compactor. Feb 24 – Was a Melon. Feb 24 – Was a Melon. On the run from the law. Raika: Feb 20 – *unknown, presumably swimming* Feb 21 – Initiated assault on War page. Kill count is roughly 450 lambs, 10 swans, 1 skirt chaser. (Swans provided stiff resistance, hissed intimidatingly.) Feb 22 – Continued assault. Feb 23 – Assault dies down. Swam. Feb 24 - *unknown* DarkHunter: All Days: Lurked and threw in needed firepower. Looked extremely intimidating. Edit: To be added as addendum to document: Melon's interesting day. Mel-chan's uber awesome yet short less than 10 mins rant about my life... Disclaimer: I do not take responsibility for any English errors made in this document. Cut me some slack dude. Anyway, Mel-chan's turn to fill you guys up on what happened on her awesome weekend. Short version. Mel-chan was on an orchestra camp from Friday to Sunday last weekends. She complained of feeling unwell from Friday onwards. Couple that with hours and hours of orchestra rehearsals. Playing the bassoon isn't easy. No sir. Mel-chan is a very tiny creature and playing a large instrument that requires at lot of air pressure isn't easy. To top it off, girls in the neighbouring dorm room just wouldn't shut up throughout the night. Who wants to hear what you wanna do for your boyfriend on Valentines? Not me, no sir. Saturday. Still feeling unwell. More rehearsals. More playing rapid scales, leaps, solos and so forth. It's 7:30pm. It's time to hold the orchestra camp concert. Mel-chan had been running her head off the whole day trying to get it organised with other senior students. Anyway, back to 7:30pm Mel-chan wasn't feeling well. No sir. She was feeling really sick now. But she cannot show it. Standing with friends, talking about life to pass the time. Concert was running late you know. People were trying to make last minute adjustments to their skit item. The world started spinning in circles. The world started going black. Mel-chan woke up. “OMG, DAFUQ IS GOING ON?!” It's not an everyday thing to see your conductor/teacher's face in front of yours in such close proximity. It's like your nightmare did come true...Hey, hold on. Why is the world sideways. Why is there a crowd around you. What...why does my head hurt so much. Huh? I have a sweater covering me. And a makeshift pillow. “Are you okay?” I get gently helped up. “She needs to be taken to a hospital for a check up.” WHAT?! One hour later. At the medical clinic. Blood test. Check. Urine test. Check. Blood pressure. Check. Interrogating questions that doctors always ask. Check. Waiting for the results to come out is the hard part. Even harder, I had two teachers escourting me to the clinic. The doctor was so confuzzled. Who sees an Asian coming in a clinic with a male and female European?? The look on the doctor says all. She asks me bluntly, “How do I address your adults?” Figures. “They're my teachers.” “I see.” Returning back to the campsite at 9:45pm. Had my third cup of lemon tea before heading back to bed and a lot of hug receiving from guys and girls alike. What a day.
This concludes Roady's report.
WARNING! PLEASE REFRAIN FROM BEING BITTEN OR SCRATCHED BY THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE!!
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" To his displeasure, he found out Mel-chan was not in fact that tasty. Mel died later from bacteria from the wombats' mouth that infested her open wound. After a conversation with Mel-chan's spirit, we came to a conclusion that sacrificing wombat #10,000's life and reviving Mel-chan was only fair. So it was done.
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