Rooftop Jazz

A kimono wearing otaku social studies professor and hikikomori was teaching a class on Asian History.

'Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Emperor Akihito and accept that that the Japanese are the most highly-evolved human beings that the world has ever known."

At this moment, a sagacious, filial, scholar-gentleman who has scored ahead of 150,000 students in the Civil Service Exams and understood the full extent of the barbarity of those living outside the Middle Kingdom held up a copy of the Nihon Shoki.

"What are the characters written upon the pages of the Nihon Shoki?"

The arrogant professor smirked, tightened his hachimaki, and smugly replied "Kanji, you baka."

"True, Kanji, which loosely translates into "Han characters." To be precise the Nihon Shoki is written in Guwen, which is Classical Chinese script. If the Japanese are indeed perfect human beings then they would have come up with their own culture & civilization as opposed to just borrowing from the Chinese or from anyone else."

The Professor was visibly shaken and dropped his calligraphy brush and copy of CLAMP's Cardcaptor Sakura. He stormed out of the room and tried to commit seppuku like in his animes.

The students applauded with a big "wansui!" and all signed up with a peasant rebellion that day and declared that the scholar-gentleman has the Mandate of Heaven. A dragon named "All Under Heaven" flew into the room and coiled around the Chinese flag and magically turned it yellow. The Analects was read several times, and the Jade Emperor himself showed up and enacted territorial seizures of disputed territories around the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of complications caused by an erroneous performance of the seppuku ritual and went to Diyu, where he is tried, found guilty, and punished by the Ten Yama Kings of Diyu.