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The Bullying Thread


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#1
cmertb

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Even though the current arc isn't about bullying, for some reason there's a heated discussion about it in the comments. It makes sense to move it to the forum, hence this thread.

So the main controversy seems to be about who is primarily responsible for fighting bullying, the victims or the society. I think it's a no brainer to say that victims should do everything in their power to fight back or to modify their behavior to avoid being bullied. But when you're a third party observer, is this really the response you should give to a victim of bullying? It's similar to people justifying all sorts of injustices with the phrase "life isn't fair". Sure, life isn't fair, but you're forgetting that a human society whose purpose isn't justice simply can't exist. In a stable, functioning society, injustice isn't something you shrug about and say "oh well", it's something that you try to correct. Even if you can't reach a point where everything is fair, if you stop trying to reach it, you will fall apart.

Similarly, when confronted with bullying as a third party observer, your first response shouldn't be "hey victim, you gotta stand up for yourself". It should be "how can we change our society [or this small segment of society where we're in] so it doesn't happen"? If a part of the answer is to train people to deal with bullying against themselves, sure. But note, you have to actively help them at least by showing them the way, and by providing moral support. You can't just leave someone to their own devices. Unless they're a true masochist, the reason they're not doing anything is not because they don't want to, it's because they're too weak to do anything. They might even be too weak to change themselves. That's why they need strength to come from outside. And that's why bullying is society's problem, and should be dealt with through society.

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#2
bushwhacker2k

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I completely agree, and I'm surprised this thread is so empty.

 

I think a thing many people don't seem to think about, though it's obvious from a certain point of view, is that people are not all created equally and then some people just choose to be bad, or to be weak, or anything like that. People are unfortunate because of their environment, their society and their upbringing.

 

Rather than judging people, people should view each other as companions in this journey called life. We really should be on each other's side, but so often that isn't the case. People are arbitrarily deemed less worthy because they were born on a different patch of land than the one someone else was.

 

I hope I'm not getting too off-topic, but I do agree with the OP's message. We really shouldn't drop judgments on someone but refuse to actually acknowledge the source of the problem. I believe a better world is possible, and I think the primary thing keeping it from existing is an outdated paradigm that people operate in. We're all in this together, why make someone else suffer?


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#3
Sir Stranger the Second

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I would think people would understand the point of there being no posts if there weren't any but I guess not.



#4
Nightdragon

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The bigggest problem is how punishment is handed out. As it seems that at least when I in school. The punishment was, if you where in a fight, both people get suspended. Period thats it. Doesn't matter the reason. So if person 1 doesn't care about getting suspended, and person 2 does, person 2 wont fight back and just take it, because "Getting suspended is bad" and not just bad, "It can ruin your life you wont get accepeted into college A,B, or C." So kids are deswaded from ruining there "lives" by having spotless records. Thus the choice of action they are only allowed to take is. Don't stand up for yourself. Don't cause any more trouble. And this can very from household to household.

 

Also bullies get a euforic like feeling inside them when they bully someone, they feel "glad" they get adticed to that feeling and conteniue. Now if they where given negitive feedback. In a form of punishment, that would help that interaction. But then the problem is that the teachers will have to be willing to punish kids for bullying. And so far, teachers do there best not to get involved. Cause aparently the school board, doesn't have a pair amung them, to call the parents out that there kid is a jerk and not a good person. Because sadly most parents think there kids are the best things on Earth next to Jesus, and God

 

So when you say, socitey needs to change your right, but how can 1-20 people change society? The only way is with education, but sadly with how "society" is either people don't care or are too busy, because they would rather rest from there long hard day at work than to try to learn anything.

 

I say it this way because, look how many shows are just entertainment. Look how big "reailty" tv have gotten. Even the primary learning channels Discovery channel, History Channel, have turned to more entertainment shows than learning about anything. I mean "Son of Guns" "Pawn Shop" "Swamp People" honestly they have no reason to be on those channels. even "Deadlist Catch" can be considered entertainment.IMO shoudl be more fit for the Biography channel vs Descovery/History channel

 

Anyway..  the most imporant people who need to change are the educators and need to teach understanding to parents. And sadly I think it will take "Big Brother" in order to get people to understand that the world isn't prefect.



#5
bushwhacker2k

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So when you say, socitey needs to change your right, but how can 1-20 people change society? The only way is with education, but sadly with how "society" is either people don't care or are too busy, because they would rather rest from there long hard day at work than to try to learn anything.

 

I think there are more than a handful of people that know that a lot of what goes on in society is a load of crap.

 

This isn't totally relevant to the topic, but the Citizen Hearing on Disclosure that took place in Washington DC is really interesting, and filled with people who are aware, at some level, that the surface level of what we're told in society isn't necessarily representative of the reality of the situation.

 

I talk about this kind of stuff because I know that the more people know and think about this kind of stuff, the more it's brought to the surface and the more people are aware that it happens can actually make a difference. I totally grant you it very often looks hopeless, because so much of what we see is crafted in such a way as to dull everyones' senses (TV) and the News is controlled by a handful of people and generally spreads only a message of fear and distrust. But if you stumble upon the kind of stuff I've been listening to, there's a lot more hope than one might expect with a glance at our media.

 

I highly recommend looking up some of Steven Greer's and Terence McKenna's work.

 

Sorry to get somewhat off-topic, but this kind of stuff all ties in together with why so much crap in society isn't getting fixed when it should be.


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