33862 replies to this topic

[PItiful Boar]

83

 

nooo

 

the pressure you take upon yourself in that mood is unlikely to last for more than a year before you break down, most often this just takes over when taking big career decisons, and in any case this kind of mood represents a particularly deep kind of ignorance (like something you think is 'big' doesnt really matter in the long run regardless of your aims of greatness/mediocrity) (or highly unlikely, deep genius)

 

and i dont think anyone has enough time to be in a world change me mood

 

certainly, people can make each other unhappy

 

there is no equilibrium for feelings after all, too much negativity isnt not allowed, just that everyone all being negative at the same time is kind of like expecting earth to move out of its orbit cause every person in china sneezed at once, it just wont happen

 

87... sounds so profound ... 

 

imo everyone should aspire to greatness, or villany (after all, the founding fathers of america are considered by British as terrorists )

Edited by Feishy Pit Boar, 06 June 2019 - 06:58 PM.

[penrosecat]

88

 

its too much burden for someone who isnt already born privileged, like most of the 16-17th century were either born in big houses, or had to work to relative stability, before they could think of just doing maths for the sake of maths, and actually a 'normal' life is pretty hard to get for anyone in general, and as such that is what was(is) the ideal for most of the people, not greatness. another thing i think is relevant is that apart from academics, other forms of greatness are pretty situational, i.e. a great person will emerge only if the system demands it. take for example freedom fighters. these guys would have been normal lawyers or civil servants etc (with a lot of courage that went unused) if the country wasnt falling apart at the time. and one other thing in general in case anyone is aspiring for greatness, i read somewhere you don't have to be the absolute best in a field to be great, for a bare minimum of standing out from the crowd, be in the top 25% of any two fields, usually enough for the average kid to go 'woah, that guy sure is cool!' so there's your formula for a 'normal' level of greatness (where people will be impressed on hearing your job description)

 

those were also the times where straw to richness was actually possible with some brains, unlike today where a. even if it is possible to break the system, you have to be an elite to do it b. you are taught that the system is unbreakable to begin with, so nobody dares to try

 

like i have been hearing forever that say there is nothing 'new' to be discovered in the classical sciences. in any case i was sufficiently disillusioned in that as a career from various stats that prove how unlikely it is to succeed, not that it ought to matter for someone interested in world-changing behaviour, but we arent brought up to think we are in any way different from the normal person, and so we always thirst for validation from others rather than firmly believing in ourselves being 'special'

 

i see this all around me, people who are so much more naturally talented or so much more hard working than me, have such shitty self esteem, and they never seem to have any faith in themselves, or at least feel nothing in demeaning themselves (they obviously have the work ethic, so at least they do believe they can win within the system) and these people are just out to make anyone else who threatens their position feel so intimidated that they never even come close. this whole year ive spent blowing them out of the water was totally worth it just to shove it in their faces. these people do not, and will not ever aspire for greatness, they will simply be forgotten in the monotony of life. 

Edited by penrosecat, 07 June 2019 - 05:50 AM.

[Yaomo]

That's too profound...

89

[PItiful Boar]

90 the tragedy when everyone is competing for limited access to the next floor
Like tog

[penrosecat]

91

 

man i dont remember any of this

 

i sure said some boring ass stuff

[pokari]

92

For what it's worth I recall thinking they were interesting points in the context of the discussion at the time. uwu

I feel like I've fallen out of contact with all.my friends from college. Maybe I should try to fix that... Though that would be out of character for me...

I feel like I have too much legitimate fear of becoming a lonely old person, for my age. x.x;

[penrosecat]

93

 

Already feeling a bit lonely

 

But if I took courses just for the sake of companionship, that wouldn't really help anyone, right?

 

Maybe, you would have one or two really close people from college. It wouldn't hurt to plan an outing after chatting them up sometime. But I think it works only about once. The enthusiasm to meet one another only lasts till the meeting. Although, it still feels nice, even if you can't ever go back to how it actually was, maybe you can feel the same way for a day or two. 

 

----

 

Another problem would be feeling happy with the people around you. I have once again been thrust into (of my own accord) into a bunch of new people and I'm having a pretty boring time as of now. I feel like it will take really long to make any more contacts (especially given my don't approach me aura (reported by people who know me)) and somehow I feel the friends I made last year are a bit distant from me now. It is all very suffocating and disappointing, but I hope I get a bunch of work soon so that I can stop wallowing in self destructive thoughts.

 

---

 

Low energy levels...uwu

 

Can't feel the same way I did typing out #88 and earlier...

 

Good night~

[pokari]

Yeah, it's difficult D:

*hugs* >.<

I hope time and the natural course of things let some of the people around you warm up soon (I would preach proactive friendship-seeking-and-or-maintaining but that would just make me a big ol' hypocrite :'o )

94

Good night. I hope you've slept well.

[PItiful Boar]

95 couldn't offer any good advice... 

i have 1 (exactly 1) high school friend that I still keep in contact with...

Humans both love and resent their sociality 

[penrosecat]

96

 

useless

[pokari]

97

Well, on the balance of the evidence I think we're all introverts :'p

One of my theories is that at some point in life I may have to enter some sort of communal living space to make new friends—it's difficult to find other introverts to hang with out in the world; mostly we're at home, school, or work.

useless

What is? .-.

[PItiful Boar]

98 extraverts have the advantage of knowing what makes them happy and pursue the things that they like

But because humans needs are infinite they tend to exhaust themselves by pursuing too many things

 

So this goes back to what I talked about earlier. Success is really a limiting of choices, what you can do and what you can't. I was listening to the CEO of Renault (before he was arrested by the Japanese on some lame corruption charges) and he was talking about how he run two companies across two continents. He was brief but on the point - there are simply a lot of things you can't do.

Although there are some notable exceptions, guys like Aristotle, who are just excellent at a variety of things, when most of us spend our life just trying to be good at one thing (that gets you paid the most). They have incredible breadth and also incredible depth. Guys who come along once a few decades. Representatives of the human species. Most of us are pretty well balanced.

[pokari]

99

Da Vinci is my personal favourite all-rounder.

More recently, I'd go for... Asimov, maybe? Not quite in the same league, though.

*drumrolls for next post*

[penrosecat]

100

 

having a rough day :'(

[pokari]

1

D:

*hugs*

[PItiful Boar]

2 It's been a rollercoaster ride for me these past few weeks. I think the only time you learn the inner working of things is when the system breaks. I think there's also a good kind of tiring and bad kind of tiring. I mean, I felt pretty tired when I have to go on a conference call, but then when I feel like I got something out of it, like when I can control myself not to blow up, or when I can feel what people are like during duress, it's a good kind of tiring.

 

And I sleep well, and I wake up rejuvenated.

Edited by Feishy Pit Boar, 26 July 2019 - 06:14 PM.

[pokari]

3

I wish I slept well and felt rejuvenated when I woke up. I really need to see a sleep-doctor. :/

[PItiful Boar]

4 are there sleep doctors? too much mental excitement is the root cause for bad sleep -

everytime I wake up I just use the counting method to get myself back to sleep.
There's nothing more exciting than counting from 200 backwards... Sometimes I actually finish counting to 0, and which point I reset and recount from 200

[pokari]

5

Yes there are sleep doctors. A lot of things go wrong with sleep and as far as patients are concerned it often just amounts to "I slept badly" or "I'm inexplicably sleepy during the day"—so they can, for instance, have you sleep whioe hooked up to some sensors and actually see what's going on and prescribe treatment as necessary.

Anyway, not everything is psychological—for instance I'd be interested to know if I have sleep apnea (my mother does). No amount of mental gymnastics is going to fix breathing problems.

(And I'm actually pretty relaxed lately so it's definitely not just stress/excitement/whatever)

Edited by pokari, 28 July 2019 - 02:40 AM.

[PItiful Boar]

6 tired

starving myself rn to lose weight

i finally succumb to the hunger and ate some corn chips