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Proposals


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#1
lunacat

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Hello Batotos people, i would like to share with you a story i've written not long ago, am still a beginner and i welcome any advice :D . Enjoy^^

Summary :
A guy sees a girl at the park everyday, he starts to like her and one day, he decides to ask her out... "properly" so he holds a flower in his hand and stands behind her while she was sitting on a bench but realizes she's the wrong girl, this last one wouldn't let him go and commit the crime of a horrible proposal, so she decides to help him out but for what reason?



narrator : he used to sit there everyday, just looking at her.


a girl sitting on a bench in a park, the wind playing with her hair (she looks far)
(closer) : a guy looking at her sad, then he turns around and leaves.tomorrow, the same guy holding a red flower behind that bench, shaking in fear and coming closer step by step.


guy :"i... i always see you here... and i like the way wind plays with your hair... i want to be yours forever..."


girl :"if i were the girl you're proposing to... i'll definitely say NO !" she turns around, it's not her!! the guy is shocked, he apologizes and leaves when :


girl :"oi ! seriously?! you're gonna say that crap to a girl?!!"
guy :"why do you care?! as long as i admire her, she's gonna like it!"
girl :"and your clothes... iww! and what's wrong with that hair cut?!!"
guy :"you're mean!! stay out of it!" and he leaves looking for the girl while she follows him saying :"if you really want this girl, you have to do it properly" the guy stops for a second and turns around :"do i really suck?"
girl :"big time!!"
guy :"alright, what do i need to do?"

the next day, the two are in the park sitting on a bench. the guy was holding a paper and a pen.
girl :"so tell me Lee, what do you like about her?"
guy :"she's beautiful... so beautiful to look at...and, my name isn't Lee"
girl :"well from now on, your name will be Lee, carry on"
he then continuesguy :"the way wind plays with her hair is charming, she's always sitting there readingby herself... i feel that she's lonely so i want to make her happy"
girl :"that's all? "the way wind plays with her golden hair?! this is all you have?"
guy :"yeah! what else should there be?"
girl :"so you don't know her..."
guy :"not really... i feel stupid"
girl :"you are stupid indeed" (looking down at her hands)
guy :"but i can't help feeling this strong emotion inside of me, i know she's the one forme... i just feel it"
the girl looks at him surprised then
girl :"alright then, tell her how it makes you feel using what you just said"
guy :"that am stupid?!"
girl :"what?! LOL, you really are stupid but there's no need to tell her that"
guy :"LOL"
there was a silent moment then,
girl :"let's take a walk"
scene of both of them walking in the street, they pass by a flower shop, the girl stops
girl :"buy a white flower"
guy :"i already have a red one"
girl :"you're gonna give her a white one instead"
guy :"it's not pretty, i like the red one"
girl :"the white flower with its flawless white, a symbol of pure feelings, it's the bestchoice for your case"
guy :"alright then, am convinced" he gets the flower then the girl faces him
girl :"alright, get on your knees and propose"
guy :"what?!"
girl :"what? is something wrong?"
guy :"why would i do that, am not gonna ask her for marriage!... and why here?"
girl :"it's just a try to see if you're ready, go ahead, don't be ashamed"
the guy reddens and hesitates
girl :"do you not love her?"
guy :"of course i do!"
girl :"if you can do it here then it'll be easier in front of her, go ahead"
guy :"alright but... why do i have to get on my knees?"
girl :"just do it you moron!!"
the guy pissed off gets on his knees holding the flower in his hand then :"i... i... well, the wind is... when the wind is playing with your hair..."

people passing them by stop and start staring at them, the guy reddens more and stops talking while the girl smiles
girl :"yes?"
guy :"ah... from the moment i saw you at the park... so beautiful...ah, amm everyday in there, i knew you were mine... will you please accept my feeligs (head down and flower up)"
people :"ah! that's so sweet.. bla bla bla"
girl :"no" and she leaves
everyone is shocked,
people :"poor guy, why did she do that to him?"
the guy then stands up reddened even more and follows her
guy :"why did you do that? you embarassed me in front of everyone!!!"
girl :"why not? you didn't put a chance for rejection?"
the guy doesn't say a word
girl :"there's a possibility that she might say no, am i right?"
guy :"yes but..."
girl :"but what?"
guy :"you totally embarassed me you idiot!!"
girl :"you deserve it for going after a girl you don't even know"
the guy is pissed, he stays silent for a while and she goes and faces some beautiful flowers in the street. then she continues
girl :"you stumble after speaking about her gorgeous golden hair everytime, i mean, what else do you know about this girl?!"
the guy remains silent then
guy :"how did you know she had golden hair? i never told you that... and also, at first, how did you know the proposal wasn't meant for you?"
the girl says nothing then turns her head away from him
girl :"it doesn't matter, you don't know the girl and you're ready to go embarass yourself in front of her and get a broken heart in the end"
guy :"i know i don't know her... at all, i don't know anything about her but i like her"
girl :"how can you like somebody you don't even know?! what if she shatters your illusion!"
guy :"tell that to my heart!!!"
the girl looks at him surprised then the guy turns around and leaves while she keeps looking at him.

tomorrow, the girl was sitting in the park when the guy suddenly shows up in front of her carrying the white flower then
guy :"everyday i see you at the same place there, reading your book and the wind playing with your beautiful golden hair, something inside of me is moved... i feel like the seat next to you is meant for me, will you please accept my feelings for eternity?"
the girl looks at him surprised then
girl :"you still want to carry on with this thing?"
guy :"yes, no matter what i'll get in the end, i have to do this"
girl :"why do you insist?"
the guy then sits next to her and continues
guy :"how many chances does life offer us when it comes to happiness?"
the girl looks at him surprised then he continues
guy :"not much, that's why we have to open the door when it knocks and take that chance,we don't come across it everyday, and love doesn't knock on my door very often. sometimes,you just have to follow your heart and i know mine knows better"
girl :"no"
guy :"what?!"
girl :"your proposal, i have to say no"
guy :"temei!! why are you so mean?! i didn't stumble at all! what did i do wrong?"
girl :"look! there she is!"
guy (stands up reddened) :"what? where? when? ah... i... (looking around)"
he then looks at her pissed off
guy :"you enjoy torturing me don't you?!"
girl :"yeah, it's very funny hhhhhh"
guy :"you're evil!!"
girl :"i know you'll stumble the moment you see her, you have to be confident"
guy :"fine, i'll work on that, temei! where do you come from? hell? you're so mean"
he sits next to her then
guy :"oh! by the way, you didn't tell me your name"
girl :"do you know the girl's name?"
guy :"no, not really"
girl :"then mine isn't that important"
guy :"fine... then why do you keep calling me Lee? my name is..."
girl(interrupting) :"it doesn't matter either"
she then stands up
girl :"good luck on your next proposal"
and she leaves. the guy looks at her surprised then
guy :"oi! that way leads to the cemetary"
girl :"am going to hell nyahahaha" (looking all scary)
guy (scared) :"she really is from hell>

the next day, the guy was waiting for the girl, she shows up from the cemetary road.
guy :"why do you always go there? are you a demon?"
girl :"oh no! you found out about me?!"
guy :"heh? se... seriously?!"
girl :"wow, your stupidity is limitless"
she then hands him a bag, he opens it and finds some clothes
girl :"go change quickly"
guy :"what?! where?"
girl :"i don't care, just go"
guy(pissed) :"you're really weird" he goes behind the bushes and changes quickly, when he walks out, he looks amazing.
girl :"hmmm, no, not yet"
guy :"what?"
girl :"follow me"
he follows her and they arrive at a barber shop. they enter
girl :"i want you to give him this look" and she shows him a picture.
guy :"my hair too?!"
girl :"keep your mouth shut, i'll be waiting for you outside"
few minutes later, he walks out looking so handsome in his new haircut. the girl looks at him surprised then
girl :"great"
guy :"are you satisfied yet or there's more?"
girl :"let's take a walk at the park and practice on your speech"
guy :"sure"

they get to the park, he was walking behind her rehearsing his speech.
guy :"i sound more confident, don't you think?"
girl :"that's because she's not here"
the guy stops then
guy :"how did you know that?"
girl (turns around):"what?"
guy :"today is the only day where she doesn't come to the park, how did you know she wasn't gonna be here?"
girl :"i... just took a wild guess"
the guy looks at her suspicious, she then continues walking.
guy :"why do you refuse telling me anything about you?"
girl :"you'll find out soon"
guy :"all i know is that you come from the cemetary everyday, it's a little... spooky" he then continues
guy :"do you have someone there, or do you live there?"
the girl remains silent and keeps walking.
guy :"can't you at least tell me something about you?"
girl :"Sayuri will tell you everything"
guy :"who's Sayuri?"
girl :"nevermind"
they arrive in front of a huge dead tree, the girl stops and faces him.
girl :"here we are"
the guy looks around and seems confused
guy :"what is this place?"
girl :"where i committed my crime"
the guy looks scared to death
guy :"c...c... crime?!"
girl :"yeah... but i'll fix it tomorrow, hopefully everything will go well tomorrow"
guy :"huh?!"
girl (looking at him):"ah wait...(she looks inside her purse then takes out a light blue scarf and puts it around his neck gently), here, now it's... perfect Lee"
guy :"thanks... i guess"
they both stare at the tree for a while, then
guy :"why is this the only dead tree in the park?"
girl :"it used to be very beautiful and filled with flowers"
guy :"what happened?"
girl :"i think i killed her"
guy :"huh?!... this is the crime you were talking about?!"
girl :"yeah, this is the place"
guy :"i don't understand, how did you kill her?"
girl :"Sayuri will bring it back to life... and you will too"
guy :"are you some sick girl who run out of some mental hospital?"
girl :"no, am a demon remember?"
guy :"you're crazy!!"
girl (smiling) :"alright then, meet me tomorrow under this tree for the final phase and don't forget the white flower "
guy :"why does it have to be so specific?"
girl :"just do as i say! or i won't be able to bring the tree back to life"
guy (pissed):"whatever"
the girl looks at him in the eyes then looks at the tree
girl :"am sorry, i hope what i did now will make up for what i did back then, goodbye"
guy:"huh?!"
girl :"goodbye Lee"
guy :"goodbye... see you tomorrow"

tomorrow, the guy is standing under the tree all dressed up, holding a white flower in his hand waiting for the girl to show up. when suddenly, the girl with the golden hair he used to see in the park shows up, the guy looks terrified and turns his head away facing the tree. the girl approaches then
girl :"excuse me, are you Lee-san?"
the guy turns around shaking
guy :"ah... no am not...well"
girl :"that's weird, you're dressed exactly like the way she described"
guy :"she?"
girl :"yes, she told me there's someone waiting for me under this tree wearing exactly like this and holding a white flower... just like that one"
guy :"temei, that old witch!!"
girl :"huh?"
guy :"ah sorry, my name is Saito, i am the guy she was talking about"
girl :"oh great, she told me a lot about you"
saito :"what did she say?"
girl :"that you're extremely stupid hehe but you have a great heart"
saito :"temei! hehe"
girl :"and also that you have something important to tell me?"
Saito:"ah yes... actually, i... well, i used to see you a lot in the park, everyday and somehow, i think... i started to fall in love with you. i know it's crazy and stupid,well, this is what she said but, i tried to convince her that this is what my heart is telling me to do so... here(he gives her the flower) i hope this will show you my pure intentions"
the girl takes the flower
girl :"it's beautiful, thank you... and what you said is so sweet, crazy but sweet"
she then continues
girl :"i'll be happy to accept those pure feelings"
saito :"what? really? are you serious?"
girl (shy):"yes hehe, how often does love knock on our door anyway, and when it does, we should take that chance and give it a try... that's what she said"
the guy looks surprised then
saito :"do you know her?"
girl :"no, not really, she came to my house yesterday and told me about her story... this place, the tree and also about Lee-san"
guy :"what?"
girl :"a guy named Lee came to her one day in this place and offered her his heart but she was too scared and turned him off, she wasn't convinced that someone could love her without even knowing her... so she said no and told him he was crazy even though he insisted a lot. she told me she started to like him day after day while he was trying to convince her but she kept rejecting him until one day,she regretted what she did and tried to get to know the guy but... it was too late, he died in a car accident a while after that, so she told me she made a mistake that day and that we'll fix it for her, if we give love a chance,that's what she told me".

saito looks shocked at what he just heard
saito :"so that's why... she... that idiot"
girl :"poor girl, she begged me not to commit what she did a long time ago"
saito remains silent then
girl :"oh sorry, i didn't tell you my name, am Sayuri"
the guy looks at her surprised then remembers what the girl told him (sayuri will tell you everything)
saito :"i see... sayuri, nice to meet you..."
sayuri :"you too, do you know the girl?"
saito :"no... not really... not much but, she's a crazy girl... and she's more stupid than me" he then approaches sayuri smiling
saito :"shall we?"
sayuri :"sure"
they both grab each other's hand and walk away.

Meanwhile, a scene of the girl walking in the park and remembering.

flashbacks*

the girl sitting on a bench reading a book while Lee passes her by. He looks exactly like Saito, he puts a scarf(the light blue one) around her neck
Lee :"it's a bit cold today, you're as careless as ever" then he leaves
--------
Lee :"...how often does love knock on our door anyway..."
girl :"doesn't mean we should open up everytime it does..."
--------
Lee with the girl standing in front of the beautiful tree
girl :"no"
guy :"how could you break my heart in front of this beautiful tree?!"
girl :"huh?!"
Lee :"i know am strong but this tree isn't! she's gonna die after hearing such a cold rejection... you're a murderer!!"
girl :"what the hell?! are you crazy?"
Lee :"you poor tree" while caressing the tree's trunk
girl looking at him surprised.
-------
A scene of the girl looking at Saito who was staring at sayuri for days, then a scene of her following sayuri to her house
------

end of flashbacks*


a scene of the girl walking towards a grave where she spots a light blue scarf around it, she smiles then :

girl (looking at the grave where the name Lee is written):"there, i hope i fixed my mistake Lee...i hope you can forgive me now"
a scene of the girl smiling with tears running down her cheeks and Saito with Sayuri walking away from the park.


The End

#2
.Jester

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It's a pretty decent read. It reminds me a whole lot of the beginning of Melo Holic. You did a nice job on this. ^-^

Just another idiot floating around the forums.

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#3
lunacat

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am glad you liked it Yukiteru-san, thank you very much^^

#4
EmuBii

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Why boiling the guy's blood for half the story?! hahahaha
and yeah, he's stupid, cuz any other guy must simply punch
or kill that girl and return to the park trying for his stuff
(even if it would remain impossible that way) lol

but good story! ^^
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#5
lunacat

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LOL
nice scenario xD
arigatou Mon-kun :P

#6
Maia

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I liked it, though it kinda broke my heart at the end of it.
Poor girl, its not hard to feel bad for her.
Especially when she saw the same thing happening all over again.
So, I can understand why she would want to help him in any way that she can.

Edited by Maia, 14 August 2012 - 08:45 PM.

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#7
lunacat

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thank you Maia, and sorry for breaking your heart xD