1984 replies to this topic

[codetoki]

I have to say, this thread is a godsend, you have no idea how many time my 'loved ones' have made my middle finger get an erection . I'll save the real rants for my really horrible days

[Katzen]

spoiler for bad language

Spoiler

stupid stupid stupid. but fuck it, i didn't even need to see that. WHY? i try my best to stay away from that certain trigger but noooooooo it just looves to show up and blow up on my face and make me feel horrible. it's like some sort of way the universe is conspiring to make me fucking suffer. i do try to just not give a fuck and change how i feel about it but how can i work on that when no one gives me the fucking space to even breathe and begin? and it's not like they even understand, gods. how fun is it to constantly nag me about something you don't understand yourself?

and the ones who i thought understood me aren't even listening. they hear, but don't listen. so....fuck. i guess no matter how many people we surround ourselves with, we really are alone.

[Seiris21]

Half the class gets 50%? Teacher doesn't curve

[seyrine]

New residency requirements jeopardizing my MS and 2nd BS degrees plus my research?! FML....

[Skydreamer707]

1,000 word paper i spent all Wednesday morning doing? Due date moved to friday. FML.

[Yaomo]

language student insisted on having her teacher translate her homework for her
how does she plan on learning the language if she doesn't even try to use a dictionary?

[Skydreamer707]

Kid who asked me out?
told me i look like a porcelain doll.
Not sure what to think of it.
but now, i feel like a creepy doll.

Spoiler

I hide in your dreams : )

Edited by skydreamer707, 31 March 2012 - 07:24 AM.

[perish]

the life force has been drained out of me by examz!! i need chakra from Batoto

Edited by AiNoKime, 31 March 2012 - 02:52 PM.

[annabelleroxayne]

*snuggles Ai* You can do it Ai!

[Skydreamer707]

I think that was like, the 4th argument i've had with my mom today.
sweet jesus.

[Angelo.]

Kid who asked me out?
told me i look like a porcelain doll.
Not sure what to think of it.
but now, i feel like a creepy doll.

Spoiler

I hide in your dreams : )

wow people have weird ways of complimenting you hahaha...also i hate dolls they creep me out!

[Katzen]

i'm pissed off because i can't control my emotions. i wish i didn't have any :C

[Thunder Wolf]

Oh boy. I guess I should just rant in here about my problems, too. Prepare for crazy.

Spoiler

I was born with a mental disorder (a physical one where my brain is wired differently) that made it next to impossible for me to socialize EVER. All the doctors and psychiatrists expected me to need "helpers" my whole life or something. I got mad and decided to do change myself so I could be a productive member of society and better yet, have friends. Nobody wanted to be my friend because I was different, and I was lonely. My father hated me and constantly belittled me and when I stood up to him, he'd pick me up and throw me into my room. Literally.

My whole life I've been trying to change myself for the better. Because of this, I've had emotional meltdowns because I just can't handle it. I'd be trying to make friends and be able to socialize, and it wouldn't work. I'd try and fix how I acted, but that requires a great deal of stress and emotional burden. So I'd break down every few months and wouldn't leave my room or talk to anyone for a full day. If I did, I'd freak out and start screaming because I couldn't handle being around people the just reminded me how different I was.

My mother was the only person who encouraged me, yet she was never there when I needed her because she was constantly sick. Because of that, my dad got to be how he was around me. As I got older, it escalated into violence.

None of my friends really seemed to care about me. They only seemed to want to like me for what I did, not who I was. To make up for all this, I tried my hardest to be good. I tried to be the best person I could possibly be. I became a tutor, I joined sports teams, I got good grades, I was in yearbook, I did martial arts, I was in drama, I was in band, I was a teacher's aid and I was in student govt. Not to mention I did community service all the time.

But beyond all my attempts to be a better person, I also wanted to never go home because my father was there. I waited hours to be picked up by my mother when I was younger, because I didn't want to take the bus to get home and end up alone with my father. I didn't want him to pick me up, either. So I'd stay alone after school for 4-5 hours without doing much. None of my friends wanted to hang out with me after school, or they just didn't invite me.

Finally, my dad snapped one day and decided to commit a murder suicide. I was in my room at the time, and believed he would only go after myself. But as I finished opening my window to escape, I heard a few words that made me question whether or not he'd also hurt my mom. So I went into the room where he had his gun and talked him out of it to save my mother.
We then went to the cops, and they raided the house with the SWAT team and everything.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbOulUo7h3o
video link.

They don't show much and lie a lot to not cause panic, but my dad fired a shotgun at them. He didn't surrender, they raided the house. It lasted over 8 hours. Also, my dogs almost got away in the confusion. But the tear gas got in their fur, and it hurt a lot seeing my dogs who I care about having this sticky, painful black stuff in their fur.

The house was thoroughly destroyed. Pieces of the walls busted in and many of our things were broken. I was only given a little bit of time to take things that belonged to me before I'd never be allowed near that house again. My mother and I have a restraining order, and my father has the house. So everything of mine in there, such as ALL my manga and most of my treasured items (such as gifts from friends) are now lost forever.

I now live with my grandma who is in a cult. She has a boyfriend who she fights with every night and they don't love each other, they just can't find anyone else that will put up with their shit. This house is cold (emotionally) and foreign. It is in a condo far above the ground and away from plants. I am very fond of earthy areas with plants and whatnot, so this is hard for me to adapt to.

I also had to drop out of school due to the move. I dropped out in my senior year. Now I'm trying to complete it. I live far from all my irl friends, now. I had to give my dogs to friends or relatives. But I had to give one to my aunt, who let the dog run away. I know, because I asked what she did to prevent my dog from getting out and she didn't do anything despite me telling her to.
My other dog is with my friend who's training to be a vet. I only see him every few months. By "few months", I mean 6 months or so.

Back to my original statement, I tried hard to be able to socialize. Now when I talk online or do video calls, no one can tell at all. But when I meet people in person, they just somehow institutionally KNOW I'm different. So I often see people look at me strangely for no reason even when I'm just sitting down. When that happens, I feel like all the hard work, those 11 years of my life I used to try and work towards where I am now, were all for nothing. As if no matter how hard I tried, it amounted to nothing.

Also, what I hate a lot is that I care deeply for people. I just naturally do. Yet they don't seem to carry this same sentiment.

Oh yeah, I also have OCD, which does not help anything.

Edited by Thunder Wolf, 12 April 2012 - 01:41 AM.

[Yaomo]

Oh boy. I guess I should just rant in here about my problems, too. Prepare for crazy.

Spoiler

I was born with a mental disorder (a physical one where my brain is wired differently) that made it next to impossible for me to socialize EVER. All the doctors and psychiatrists expected me to need "helpers" my whole life or something. I got mad and decided to do change myself so I could be a productive member of society and better yet, have friends. Nobody wanted to be my friend because I was different, and I was lonely. My father hated me and constantly belittled me and when I stood up to him, he'd pick me up and throw me into my room. Literally.

My whole life I've been trying to change myself for the better. Because of this, I've had emotional meltdowns because I just can't handle it. I'd be trying to make friends and be able to socialize, and it wouldn't work. I'd try and fix how I acted, but that requires a great deal of stress and emotional burden. So I'd break down every few months and wouldn't leave my room or talk to anyone for a full day. If I did, I'd freak out and start screaming because I couldn't handle being around people the just reminded me how different I was.

My mother was the only person who encouraged me, yet she was never there when I needed her because she was constantly sick. Because of that, my dog got to be how he was around me. As I got older, it escalated into violence.

None of my friends really seemed to care about me. They only seemed to want to like me for what I did, not who I was. To make up for all this, I tried my hardest to be good. I tried to be the best person I could possibly be. I became a tutor, I joined sports teams, I got good grades, I was in yearbook, I did martial arts, I was in drama, I was in band, I was a teacher's aid and I was in student govt. Not to mention I did community service all the time.

But beyond all my attempts to be a better person, I also wanted to never go home because my father was there. I waited hours to be picked up by my mother when I was younger, because I didn't want to take the bus to get home and end up alone with my father. I didn't want him to pick me up, either. So I'd stay alone after school for 4-5 hours without doing much. None of my friends wanted to hang out with me after school, or they just didn't invite me.

Finally, my dad snapped one day and decided to commit a murder suicide. I was in my room at the time, and believed he would only go after myself. But as I finished opening my window to escape, I heard a few words that made me question whether or not he'd also hurt my mom. So I went into the room where he had his gun and talked him out of it to save my mother.
We then went to the cops, and they raided the house with the SWAT team and everything.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbOulUo7h3o
video link.

They don't show much and lie a lot to not cause panic, but my dad fired a shotgun at them. He didn't surrender, they raided the house. It lasted over 8 hours. Also, my dogs almost got away in the confusion. But the tear gas got in their fur, and it hurt a lot seeing my dogs who I care about having this sticky, painful black stuff in their fur.

The house was thoroughly destroyed. Pieces of the walls busted in and many of our things were broken. I was only given a little bit of time to take things that belonged to me before I'd never be allowed near that house again. My mother and I have a restraining order, and my father has the house. So everything of mine in there, such as ALL my manga and most of my treasured items (such as gifts from friends) are now lost forever.

I now live with my grandma who is in a cult. She has a boyfriend who she fights with every night and they don't love each other, they just can't find anyone else that will put up with their shit. This house is cold (emotionally) and foreign. It is in a condo far above the ground and away from plants. I am very fond of earthy areas with plants and whatnot, so this is hard for me to adapt to.

I also had to drop out of school due to the move. I dropped out in my senior year. Now I'm trying to complete it. I live far from all my irl friends, now. I had to give my dogs to friends or relatives. But I had to give one to my aunt, who let the dog run away. I know, because I asked what she did to prevent my dog from getting out and she didn't do anything despite me telling her to.
My other dog is with my friend who's training to be a vet. I only see him every few months. By "few months", I mean 6 months or so.

Back to my original statement, I tried hard to be able to socialize. Now when I talk online or do video calls, no one can tell at all. But when I meet people in person, they just somehow institutionally KNOW I'm different. So I often see people look at me strangely for no reason even when I'm just sitting down. When that happens, I feel like all the hard work, those 11 years of my life I used to try and work towards where I am now, were all for nothing. As if no matter how hard I tried, it amounted to nothing.

Also, what I hate a lot is that I care deeply for people. I just naturally do. Yet they don't seem to carry this same sentiment.

Oh yeah, I also have OCD, which does not help anything.

that's some serious shit. what can i say.....
i'm just glad you're alive, so i could meet you

[Thunder Wolf]

that's some serious shit. what can i say.....
i'm just glad you're alive, so i could meet you

Thanks. Life = tough. You just gotta role with the punches. Years ago, I was actually seriously considering suicide. But really, I'd rather live on, because I know that by doing so, I might have an impact on other people, and that my life could get better one day. And if my life has to suck just so I can help other people out, then so be it. :/

Doesn't mean I don't still hate having to go through it.

Edited by Thunder Wolf, 01 April 2012 - 11:58 AM.

[Buttock Follicle]

Oh boy. I guess I should just rant in here about my problems, too. Prepare for crazy.

Spoiler

I was born with a mental disorder (a physical one where my brain is wired differently) that made it next to impossible for me to socialize EVER. All the doctors and psychiatrists expected me to need "helpers" my whole life or something. I got mad and decided to do change myself so I could be a productive member of society and better yet, have friends. Nobody wanted to be my friend because I was different, and I was lonely. My father hated me and constantly belittled me and when I stood up to him, he'd pick me up and throw me into my room. Literally.

My whole life I've been trying to change myself for the better. Because of this, I've had emotional meltdowns because I just can't handle it. I'd be trying to make friends and be able to socialize, and it wouldn't work. I'd try and fix how I acted, but that requires a great deal of stress and emotional burden. So I'd break down every few months and wouldn't leave my room or talk to anyone for a full day. If I did, I'd freak out and start screaming because I couldn't handle being around people the just reminded me how different I was.

My mother was the only person who encouraged me, yet she was never there when I needed her because she was constantly sick. Because of that, my dog got to be how he was around me. As I got older, it escalated into violence.

None of my friends really seemed to care about me. They only seemed to want to like me for what I did, not who I was. To make up for all this, I tried my hardest to be good. I tried to be the best person I could possibly be. I became a tutor, I joined sports teams, I got good grades, I was in yearbook, I did martial arts, I was in drama, I was in band, I was a teacher's aid and I was in student govt. Not to mention I did community service all the time.

But beyond all my attempts to be a better person, I also wanted to never go home because my father was there. I waited hours to be picked up by my mother when I was younger, because I didn't want to take the bus to get home and end up alone with my father. I didn't want him to pick me up, either. So I'd stay alone after school for 4-5 hours without doing much. None of my friends wanted to hang out with me after school, or they just didn't invite me.

Finally, my dad snapped one day and decided to commit a murder suicide. I was in my room at the time, and believed he would only go after myself. But as I finished opening my window to escape, I heard a few words that made me question whether or not he'd also hurt my mom. So I went into the room where he had his gun and talked him out of it to save my mother.
We then went to the cops, and they raided the house with the SWAT team and everything.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbOulUo7h3o
video link.

They don't show much and lie a lot to not cause panic, but my dad fired a shotgun at them. He didn't surrender, they raided the house. It lasted over 8 hours. Also, my dogs almost got away in the confusion. But the tear gas got in their fur, and it hurt a lot seeing my dogs who I care about having this sticky, painful black stuff in their fur.

The house was thoroughly destroyed. Pieces of the walls busted in and many of our things were broken. I was only given a little bit of time to take things that belonged to me before I'd never be allowed near that house again. My mother and I have a restraining order, and my father has the house. So everything of mine in there, such as ALL my manga and most of my treasured items (such as gifts from friends) are now lost forever.

I now live with my grandma who is in a cult. She has a boyfriend who she fights with every night and they don't love each other, they just can't find anyone else that will put up with their shit. This house is cold (emotionally) and foreign. It is in a condo far above the ground and away from plants. I am very fond of earthy areas with plants and whatnot, so this is hard for me to adapt to.

I also had to drop out of school due to the move. I dropped out in my senior year. Now I'm trying to complete it. I live far from all my irl friends, now. I had to give my dogs to friends or relatives. But I had to give one to my aunt, who let the dog run away. I know, because I asked what she did to prevent my dog from getting out and she didn't do anything despite me telling her to.
My other dog is with my friend who's training to be a vet. I only see him every few months. By "few months", I mean 6 months or so.

Back to my original statement, I tried hard to be able to socialize. Now when I talk online or do video calls, no one can tell at all. But when I meet people in person, they just somehow institutionally KNOW I'm different. So I often see people look at me strangely for no reason even when I'm just sitting down. When that happens, I feel like all the hard work, those 11 years of my life I used to try and work towards where I am now, were all for nothing. As if no matter how hard I tried, it amounted to nothing.

Also, what I hate a lot is that I care deeply for people. I just naturally do. Yet they don't seem to carry this same sentiment.

Oh yeah, I also have OCD, which does not help anything.

/huggles thundi even more

otl, i never realised that was your father :0

I'm glad you decided to say it all (both now and before on skype) <3

completely random and unserious, but OMG I KNOW WHERE YOU (USED TO) LIVE! :00000 ;D

i'd post stuff here, except i don't like it when google stalks me lol

Edited by kishuke, 01 April 2012 - 12:03 PM.

[Lalbutt]

who CARES about roots and coefficients of a polynomial equation? cuz i sure as f*k dont. I BARELY EVEN GET IT.

I FEEL YOUR PAIN AI~CHAN

[Buttock Follicle]

i like coeffiecients D;

[Lalbutt]

do u like alpha, beta, gamma and epsilon as the roots of a polynomial equation for which you then have to find the value of x USING alpha, beta, gamma, epsilon etc?

oh and another thing. i catch colds easily in winter. BUT ITS ONLY AUTUMN SO WHY THE F*K??? WORST TIMING D:

[Buttock Follicle]

IMAGINE GETTING COLDS EVERY SUMMER. AND THEN EVERY WINTER @_@

/too lazy to learn yr11 stuff