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My Manga Attempt


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#1
Zero King

Zero King

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I wrote this a while ago, it is a rough draft but I will continue writing it. It might be a manga or light novel don't know. But please give me your honest opinions on it.

Dirty Glass

Even as Alex layed against the cracked urine stained walltaking swigs from his bottle, he couldn't forget her words on that heart shattering day.

Six years ago Alex had a steady job as a finance manager for a major financial firm. He had a nice one bedroom apartment and even a serious girlfriend that he come home to every night. But for this night was the end of this dream. After a long backbreaking day, Alex left his office and set out for home. The mid winter snow was piling up on the streets, he could hear the clings of glass at the local pub as the bartender announced last call.
Something in the display of a glass shop caught his eye, as he peered in a young woman noctied him and waved him in the store. With a sweet low voice "How may I help you sir?". Out of the corner of his eye, he found a long black tinted glass piece.
"How much is..that?" he pointed to the glass, her eyes followed his fingers direction.
"Aw that..You know it's fine take it"
"Really?"
"Yes, why not afterall it's christmas" the clock read 12:01
"Guess it is, Thank you" (maybe this christmas won't be so bad) alex thought to himself
"No problem, Just come back soon" she saw him off with a smile.
It had been only 5 minutes since he left the store, he arrived at his apartment. He Charged up the stairs to his door, poped the key into the lock and turned the knob but stopped. There was his "girlfriend" staring at with unemotional eyes and a lustful smile. Fully nude riding ontop of his "best Friend's" pelvis. Her words were stoic and distant "Oh your back, this will take a minute"
The glass shattered as his dream life faded into nothing.....

Six years and a thousand bottles later Alex found himself in Japan like he wished back when he was a child. But I bet he wouldn't believe he would go to japan and drink and drink until he puked his brains out every night. A rush of self hatred flowed into him, he was in Japan! it was his dam childhood dream but her words kept echoing in his mind. It wasn't just her words that haunted him, it was the act of sharing his whole heart with someone finally, but then get it torned out by a cold hearted b*&%h. but that was yesterday today is today and today consists of filling his liver with cold hard liquor.
He opens the door to the sunkist bar and stumbled on the first step before his eyes adjusted to the bright neon light above the bar. The bartender greeted him with a warm smile and a freshly poured shot of whiskey. "Thanks" was all he would say before he gulped down the drink with ease.
"Buy you another?" her voice was like sweet honey
"Cheers" she softly banged her glass against his but alex barely noticed he was too busy drinking. All he could do was stare at her pink lusicious lips as a stream of liquor slowlt fell down them.
In the distance he could hear the dreaded rang of last call. With such sweet sorrow he downed his drink, he stumbled off his chair and made for the door. Without a single look back, he could feel her stare lingering on him wanting more than a quickie. Maybe six years ago but now he couldn't or should I say wouldn't want to hurt the girl or hell hurt himself with loving someone again. He wanted it though, lily white skin to rub up against his in the moonlight entertwined. With a last step Alex collapsed on the bar floor head first, all he could hear was a worried scream then nothing but darkness....

Edited by Zero King, 01 February 2012 - 07:01 AM.


#2
Fenrir2218

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Its very well written. It took me a bit to realize that it was good so I skimmed the intro... Sorry. It has a lot of potential, I kinda wanna read a little bit more now. But all in all I liked it.
On black wings the angel Flies
Scythe in hand with soundless Cries
Spectral stare that Pierces Dark
Finding still their fading Mark
Marrow hands that gleam at Night
Still imposing lethal Might
Claims your soul to lay to Rest
The Reaper Grimm does it Best

#3
Zero King

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This is so old, thank you though Fenrir2218

#4
ConspiracyWeasel

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It's very good so far. I thought about doing the same thing, but I keep adding unnecessary details which trips me up. 



#5
Zero King

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thank you very much