Posted 07 May 2019 - 06:57 PM
One of these cases where TV Tropes can be a good reminder that thematic devices used to frame or provide structure to a story should not be looked at too religiously when searching for universal truths.
Posted 14 May 2019 - 06:44 PM
Posted 15 May 2019 - 05:11 AM
Posted 16 May 2019 - 07:01 AM
Posted 16 May 2019 - 05:29 PM
Posted 17 May 2019 - 07:29 AM
Posted 19 May 2019 - 03:19 PM
have you seen how nobody in the outside world ever smiles
like people walking on the street and stuff
maybe its to be expected, since nobody on the street has ever reached their destination, but overall i think if you smile for no reason its kinda nice
it could also be that this is only the case where i live
Posted 19 May 2019 - 05:32 PM
Like being told to smile for pictures. Why should I present something rather than my actual emotions for a picture? So that a false impression of how everyone was feeling at the time can be recorded in ink? As such all my childhood photos either have grimaces or (later on, once I'd grasped the concept of satire) deliberately manic grins, because I thought the whole affair was stupid and wanted people to know that I thought so.
Anyway. If I were to change my ways now, accordingly, I would want to go about it by trying to think more warmly of my surroundings and if lucky have my expression reflect that; smiling for no reason would feel like faking a smile to me (though they're subtly and crucially different, of course).
Posted 20 May 2019 - 06:05 PM
eh, when i try to think about it, there are many things i can cheekily grin about, which is not necessarily a smile
i suppose photos are fake in that sense, but they are still nice to look at sometimes to think about how far you came
Posted 20 May 2019 - 06:31 PM
What if you've gone backwards
I T ' S O N L Y F U N I F T H E Y R U N
Posted 20 May 2019 - 06:36 PM
then its all my fault and i take complete responsibility
tbh nobody reminisces till they've already improved
Posted 20 May 2019 - 08:28 PM
right, pictures are not for you, it's for the admin looking over your application, whether its for a job or a permit
when was the last time i needed to look at a picture of myself... couldn't remember
Edited by Feishy Pit Boar, 20 May 2019 - 09:50 PM.
Posted 23 May 2019 - 12:48 AM
The team I was doing contract work for may or may not have collapsed in a sea of fire (metaphorically, that is). I was politely shooed out of the building and apparently I'll find out more Monday.
Posted 23 May 2019 - 04:47 AM
Posted 23 May 2019 - 05:38 AM
Ways my brain can parse it, none of which seem quite right:
"Hiroiiii -ssu!" — "It's reeeealy vast, [random cutesy sentence ending]"
"Hidoiiii -ssu!" — "That's really meaaaan, [random cutesy sentence ending]"
https://mangadex.org/title/12188/hiiro-no-isu— which I haven't read though I like all the author's other stuff.
Posted 23 May 2019 - 05:45 PM
hidoi is what i mean
although i have to say, my nihongo powers aren't what they used to be
but thanks for the correction... sigh...
you feeling ok?
Posted 23 May 2019 - 06:44 PM
I kept having half-awake moments last night where my brain would be working on some problem from work (Not necessarily productively, just in that half-dreamy/semi-logical way one ends up sort-of dreaming about work you've been doing a lot) and then another part of my brain would intrude and say, "you don't even know if you still have that job" and suddenly I'd feel horrible. I didn't end up sleeping well at all.
It didn't help that the way yesterday progressed was somewhat dreamlike, as if the day somehow progressed through free association—like, I got the sense some people were having a bad day, then I thought I overheard the team lead calmly say "I'm fired" and then the member I work most closely with say, "Then I'm next in line", but at that point I assumed that was just me mishearing, and then various people seemed maybe a little tense for the next hour and then I don't see them around again and the area's getting a little empty but like, I still at this point assume on the balance that I'm worried over nothing and just noticing little things because I misheard stuff earlier (nobody's said anything to me at this point), then at some point while I'm grabbing a snack, somebody I don't know (not from the team I was working with) asks me who I am (which I answer) and whether I'm a contractor working with that team (which I confirm), and they ask me to come over and say which computers I'm working on (IT moving around computers isn't that odd in this sort of workspace so I'm trying not to make much of this but the paranoid panicking part of my brain is of course coming to the conclusion somehow something is going wrong), and then a lady identifying herself as vice-president of operations asks a couple questions about my computers and then tells me to shut down one of them and to keep working on the other for now, while I'm doing that she goes and instructs her lackeys to shut down other computers and then to search the place for any loose hard drives or storage devices and they're rooting through drawers and such—at this point I get a call from the intermediary company that actually employs me telling me that we've been asked to halt work on the project, that I should leave the client's building and then confirm that I've done so (so they can relay that back) and that we know nothing else other than that we've been told we'll be told more on Monday.
I still have no idea what the heck happened, beyond what wild speculations I can make. I'm giving myself somewhere in the range of a 1/3rd to a 2/5th chance of still having a job Monday...? (If I do, and those two people have indeed left, it's going to get a little interesting though...)
...Having said all that, I feel potentially worse for the new young bright-eyed intern that had introduced himself to me earlier in the day. Not sure what yesterday ended up like for him...
So, yeah, it turns out this sort of uncertainty, whiplash, partial information and drama is, in summation, quite detrimental to my good night's sleep; it was sometimes kind of like I was having weird nightmares except I'd wake up and, no, that really was what had happened 12 hours ago.
I'm doing much better in my waking hours. I can just say, "don't bother thinking about it, there isn't enough information to do anything with right now, just wait it out," and stay calm. I'm also binging a video game, which might be helping.
...Well, that was probably a longer answer than you were expecting, but thanks for asking. *hugs*
Posted 23 May 2019 - 07:09 PM
sorry to hear
just a gentle reminder than monday is a national holiday so you might have to wait until tuesday actually
when i have trouble at night sleeping, i try counting backwards from two hundred, as i try to peer through the endless dark skies through my closed eye lids and try to see spirals of galaxies
have you tried exercising? I usually sleep better after I swim
Posted 24 May 2019 - 05:11 PM
In fact I had the imposter complex dream where I was stuck in school getting a second diploma
Tbh my cousin did that and somehow I always identified with it
Posted 24 May 2019 - 07:01 PM
when i have trouble sleeping, i get up and walk around thinking about whatever it is that was bothering me till i tire myself out, but isnt this just exercise now that i think about it
also srs question
how is job security for programmers? i thought they just upskilled themselves and levelled up, but maybe it's not quite that easy