20 replies to this topic

[Silentnight]

As you can probably guess, this is inspired by the to hot topics Impromptu Poetry and Endless Haiku.

 

 Rules: (I'll try my best to keep them short and sweet, you guys can give suggestions down the road)

 

1) Monologues must be made up on the spot 

 

 

 

2)Long or Short, monologues need to be in a spoiler tag  

Spoiler

http://pastebin.com/8k9HGnLH

 

 

 

3) This is optional but after the end of monologue (outside spoiler tag) you post a challenge that the next person uses for their monologue (it can be anything, like "say this" or "must be in this tone" or "about this")

 

 

 

4)  If a challenge isn't posted then feel free to share a boundless monologue but rule 1 and 2 still apply                                                                 

 

Example: _{(I know these aren't real monologues, but for the sake of space)}

#1 

Spoiler

Monologue

  Say potato 3 times

 

#2

Spoiler

Monologue ba ba ba ba ba potato nom nom nom potato rwr potato!

  Talk about anything

 

_{(I know these aren't real monologues, but for the sake of space)}

 

 

It's probably a little boring but lets give it a try

 

 

 

 

Well here's mine:

Spoiler

 

I miss it. My small place. My small, isolated place, it was peaceful. Now while it isn't. I mean well. I have. No no no I made friends. And now I care about people.Now I feel so uncertain.What expectations  do they have? How do they feel towards me and my actions? what do they think of me. And now. This quite, small place of mine is destroyed. Now how my feelings revolve around other people, not me. And how did it come to be like this? I'm tired of this. This feeling of never ending disappointment and frustration against myself. I just want to go back. I just want to go back to a small place, my small little world, my little hole. But it's gone now. I know because I looked farand wide for it. I've spent a lot of time with people after making friends, I'm still bad with people. And this thing called "socializing", I'm still pretty bad with that too. Now with my small place gone, I can't go back. So I won't. I'll find somewhere else. 

Start off happy

Edited by Silentnight, 14 April 2016 - 03:55 PM.

[pdaangsakti21]

Spoiler

ah, yes. finally! finally a new phone! in! my! hand!!
goodbye ancient tech, welcome newcomer! now i'll molest your smooth, transparent screen~~

 

flirt the next person! 

[Silentnight]

(I don't know how to flirt but here's my have at it)

Spoiler

So beautiful, her skin, her hair, her eyes. Its all so beautiful but, it doesn't matter how beautiful I say you are. If you do not believe you are as beautiful as a sunset. Then maybe, you're are not. THen maybe, you're as beautiful as the moon.

 

Next person, write about something deep

[Nepenthe]

Spoiler

It's odd, is it not? We spend all of our lives on this small rocky planet, making our living out of its surface, happily under its protection. But how many actually spare a thought to its history? To the great inner workings shifting under their feet? If there is an earthquake, how many wonder why? Ask how? Pick up a pebble and say, what has this rock seen? Bury their feet in the sand of beaches and think to ask, how old are these tiny grains? We know so little about our home. We can only guess at the mechanisms that provide our great planetary magnetic field, which shelters our blue skies. Why continents slowly cross the oceans. Why continents exist in the first place! To be honest, humanity takes its home for granted. We say it does not change because the entire history of our species is the smallest fraction of time to our planet. We say it will not change, because we do not understand that it is always changing. And now that we must admit that we have affected change that otherwise would never have come about, we--in the height of our human arrogance-- declare that we have spoiled the planet. Destroyed something perfect.

But it is no matter. The sands on our beach resorts have seen species come and go, many times before. And once we quietly fade, they will keep their silent vigil, as if we never were.

 

Next person, write some grand complaint

[pdaangsakti21]

Spoiler

...hah, what the hell? this place is good and rich with all those abundant resources. but the deeply rooted national custom of CORRUPTION and BRIBERY is like. i don't even. i wish i have money and power so i can assassinate all those corrupted spots and totally reform everything. from zero. but hell, that too is against my policy. i don't want to kill, let alone mass genocide. nope. so what the fuck should i do? i can't do a single damn thing to fix this shit, and no one is seriously doing something to fix it! even though there are people with the same mind but afterall, they're the same as me. powerless and unwilling. ah damn. let's just die together

 

next... hmm. how about reviewing your last meal?

[Bokuboy]

Spoiler

 

I was sitting on Death Row, and was awarded, or given as the case may be, my last meal. The lobster was succulent and moist, the steak was medium to well done and was the richest flavor of any beef that anyone at any time could never have had. The biscuits were warm and covered in butter, that dripped off the side as I crammed it into my gaping maw. It was all so good that I had eaten it all before I knew it, and all that was left were the lonesome vegetables. I figured I was going to die, I wanted the cook to feel the waste of the vegetable's life as much as everyone else was going to feel the waste of mine. I'd asked for soup, but only took a spoonful. I didn't want too much water in my body, considering where I'd be going in an hour...

 

 

next person... something about your pet if you have one? Cat, dog, lizard, baby...

[Emerald39]

Spoiler

 

It's odd, isn't it, how quickly pets disappear from our lives? I was only 4 when my first cat died. Poor Jessica; hit by a car right in front of the house. We found her there, split in two by the tyres and bleeding profusely. I was wracked with grief by her untimely demise. Then the other disappeared at the age of 9. Having just moved to a more spacious abode, we released Sam from his carrier confines to stretch his legs. Little did we know that he would simply jump the back wall and never return. His death is not confirmed, but we're pretty certain he's passed away by now. To replace him, since he was never a very social cat, I now have Macavity. He's the most friendly and courageous feline I've ever had, with the agility and speed of a jaguar, and the heart of a lion.

 

But you know, I'm not sure how we will be taken from me...

 

 

Next person, write a eulogy for a loved one. 

[Bokuboy]

Spoiler

 

It was the best of times when Charlie was around. He drank a lot. Darn near every day. Sometimes he'd sleep in on the couch, and sometimes he'd sleep in his bed, and sometimes in the bathroom, and sometimes on the floor. But... he was a good man. Never treated anyone that mattered poorly. He always had a helping hand to offer if you needed something. There wasn't a time that he wasn't around... until now. We are all going to miss him. He died a tragic and pointless death at the hands of fate. There's only so many times you can do the things he did and not have to pay for it eventually. Goodbye, old friend. Sleep well, and give God a hug for us.

 

 

Next person... give us a long, good joke.

[Emerald39]

(This is not one of my best; I adapted this from an Allen Pease joke)

Spoiler

It was a bar like any other. As the bartender, I saw many weird people walk in and out of here. Last week, a man came in with a box under his arm. He said to me, "I bet you a drink that I can show you something you've never seen before."

I gladly took the bet, and he opened the box, revealing a small man playing the piano. I was surprised and passed him his drink, and then asked him, "Where did you get this one-foot piano man from?"

He said, "Well, I found a dusty lantern in my basement, and when I rubbed it, a genie came out and said, 'I will grant you one wish.'"

I became curious. "So what did you wish for?"

His answer was sincere. "A twelve-inch p***s."

 

Next person, write a Shakespeare-esque monologue on an everyday problem. 

[Bokuboy]

Spoiler

In the m'rning at which hour I hath opened mine own fridge, I discov'r'd a problem.

I ranneth out of milketh.

Yond i did need it f'r mine own breakfast.

I donn'd mine own robes and wenteth to the st're to buyeth some.

 

Next, someone say something about themselves (or an event in their lives) in the vein of a tv newscaster giving a report.

[Emerald39]

(Just note that I'm being honest; I am not trying to show off in this one)

Spoiler

Our top story today, a new fiction prodigy is on the rise! A Year 12 student has finished his first novel, and is preparing to publish it with Austin Macauley. The 17-year-old teen has been working on this story for 3 years, in conjunction with his school work, and has been scouting for possible publishers since the start of this year. He has told that he has 6 more books planned in this first series, and two other incredible series on the way; his ideas have such complexity and charm, as well as heavy philosophical themes/ideas. 

Next person, describe your greatest achievement in the style of a prophet. 

[Bokuboy]

Okay, here goes.

 

Spoiler

 

All ye unwashed masses, BEHOLD!

 

I have come to enlighten thee to that which you are unaware. Tis with great pleasure I bequeath to you the knowledge I have gained, in the hopes that it will endear and inspire you! Upon my weary shoulders I bear the burden of this fate; but, fear not! For I am up to the task. Twas a day like none other, when I first beheld her face! At first I was completely unnoticed and pushed aside; but eventually, she saw in me that which none other had tried to give her. Unending devotion! It was a joyous day when I tried to hold her hand and she didn't pull away! I believe she was resigned to the situation, that I was never going to give up on pursuing her... and she gave up trying to run. We evolved together over the following months and had the best time of our lives! Sadly, as all things must, it came to an end.... but to this day she still believes that I was the only one who truly loved her for who she was. I still do... for she was the one great love of my life.

 

Now that my burden has been shared, it's weight still significant, my sermon has ended. I bid you all a good day, and may peace and love find you wherever you may go!

 

 

Next person.... you are a villain who's just captured the main character of a manga. Tell us your plan to dispose of him.

Be as elaborate as you want! (may also include laser sharks, because they're awesome!)

No cop-outs! Don't just shoot him in the head... that's just unrealistic. LOL

[pdaangsakti21]

Spoiler

that brat! can't believe i was so careless as to let him sneaked up to me while i was taking a scroll...
meh. no, it's okay... think. here in this jail i won't be bothered for some hours.
yes. let's make this opportunity to pay him back ten folds, no, hundred folds!
hmm. what should i do to him... oh, right. i'll get him while he's on a date with that bitch. the same situation as me... heheh.
first, grab him and break all of his limbs so he's helpless and can't even move a finger. then torture him mentally... by raping his sweetheart right before his nose!
no, not only that, she'll be enslaved and humiliated in the middle of our crowd.
even if he breaks his heart, i won't stop by just that! i'll continue torturing him for three days... maybe a week until he's nothing but a living doll?
...yeah i should prepare my precious agony chamber... heheheheh.

 

next guy state your specialties in a business like manner.

[Nepenthe]

Ugh, fine, here's my resume in prose. Don't expect it to be exciting. x_x

Spoiler

You could say that I am a rock nerd. I always have been. I excel in mineral and rock identification, both in hand samples and in thin section. I possess a very high level of proficiency with petrographic microscopes. I could recite to you right now five things that identify plagioclase, and also how to distinguish other feldspars it from quartz. I was possibly the only person in my petrology lab to use interference figures to help identify minerals. My background as an artist helps me draw detailed and accurate representations of what I see in the microscope.

My more commonplace specialties include the effective use of internet sources to obtain reliable information and perform research, customer interaction--both over the phone and on person--and customer service, organizational maintenance, and effective communication. I have a long history of tutoring students, which has made me very comfortable finding ways to explain concepts to others. I gained leadership experience from my role in clubs and campus organizations as well as simply growing up as an older sister with a sibling six years her junior. I am very comfortable with computers, learning and implementing different software (including image editing programs), troubleshooting and rectifying problems that come up, as well as keeping data organized and tidy.

I am a hard worker who strives to do her best in everything, and an innovative problem solver.

 

(hire me)

Maaaan I guess I have no excuse for not writing cover letters now, thanks a lot

 

You are the antihero, trying to convince a villain--who is actually quite similar to you-- to turn their back on their dastardly ways.

Edited by Nepenthe, 13 April 2016 - 06:16 PM.

[Emerald39]

Spoiler

Listen, Aluna. If you won't listen to them, then listen to me. I know what you want: you want peace in your time, for your own people. But is massacring the entire Sun precinct really going to achieve your goal? Sure, I've killed before, striving for the same purpose, but that was only those who deserved it, those who abused and were corrupted by the cards' power. With you, you just want genocide; you only want to rid them from this kingdom, when there may be other ways to go about your people's safety. If you want, I could go and kill Solaris myself, but what I'd be doing is more moral and pure. I'm only targeting the source of the evil, not taking civilian casualties like you wish to. The choice is yours: either let me kill him to save your people, or I'll stop you. You know what I'm capable of; you know the 17 people I've killed because of these cards. Don't make your death the 18th. So, what's it going to be?

- Vincia (The Book of Tarot)

 

The next person, you are a philosopher, and you're trying to convince a large audience why they shouldn't completely trust in the gods. 

[Crouching Bacon]

Spoiler

This is our fourth sacrifice. The seventh bull of the seventh bull, as tradition requires. Yet, why are the gods still unhappy? Perhaps the butcher slit the animal's throat in a way that offended them? Or could it be that they have suddenly changed their preferences to pork? We could try. The faithful farmers are always willing to offer up another animal despite the famine. No? You hesitate. I suppose it is starvation that slows your hand. But what if the gods ask of us to starve for their honor, their amusement? Your son, skin and bones, puts a smile on their divine lips. Your daughter, faint with hunger, amuses them with her ravings. Would you all like to be the fifth sacrifice? The gods might hold your fates, but you have a choice... and there is a right choice.

 

The next person is a soldier who has to convince his friends to run away with him and betray their commanding officer.

[pdaangsakti21]

Spoiler

listen now, we don't stand any chances. it's long gone since we landed here. this is a suicide mission and we've been deceived! i know we're a soldier but i have a wife! i have a 1 year old son! they're waiting for me! i fight for my family before everything else. i'm sure you fight for your own reason too, but see, all i could see from Captain Marshmallow now can't be said as a good impression, not anymore. his judgement dulls, easier than ever to be provoked, he's no longer a man to take command from. i don't want to die here under his dumb commands, i'm going to get home to my family. but i can't by myself, we're comrades and i don't wanna leave you guys here. so let's go home together.

 

next, convince your parents to let you take a dangerous job that takes place far away

[Emerald39]

Spoiler

Dad, listen to me. I know that this is a risky thing that I plan to undertake, but I have to do this. I mean, look at our current state, Dad. Your contract with Potesus has been broken, you were attacked last night by his men, and we live so far away from the city that no one will give us jobs. You once told me, as a young boy, these very words: the world is corrupt, and mankind itself is corrupted, because of the power of one. I must take him out; I must fight back against this cruel system. First, this precinct will be liberated, and then I'll free the others. And when that is done, I shall return, and we can enjoy the life we've always wanted. So, Dad, let me do this, not just for our sake, but for the sake of humanity; we can make this world shine again. 

- Vincia (The Book of Tarot)

 

Next person, give us a rant about whatever topic you're most passionate about. 

[pdaangsakti21]

Spoiler

martial arts. nowadays martial arts can be roughly divided into two categories: competition and self defense. let's not talk about offensive-killing combats.
at first i was learning one because of a simple cause: i was pickpocketed helplessly. had i learned some degree of martial arts i would've retaliated even if i were to just scratch the offender's skin. well, that led me to some rigorous, discipline training for some years. and because of that, i got many medals and 2 golds at world championship. but then i realized that i strayed from my original goal, which was to be able to defend myself. to learn competitive oriented combat hinders too much because of the restrictions and so called sportsmanship which obviously does not exist in street brawling. that means i need to redo my mindset and training altogether. seeing live footages of people ganged up and manages to kick their assailant's ass motivates me further. moreso i want to protect and teach my dear ones how to be safe even when they're alone.

 

you're a newbie host for a wildlife tv show and your team currently stumbles upon a UMA! with a clear view of not only seconds but thanks to the agile cameraman your team is tailing it for some minutes. report while chasing it~~~

Edited by pdaangsakti21, 14 April 2016 - 04:23 PM.

[Bokuboy]

Spoiler

 

(camera zooms in on my face)

Me: This is Bokuboy, on the scene of a terrifying event! We've stumbled across the grizzly remains of what appears to be one of our guides. We'd only intended to see the legendary Otaku Falls, but we heard an ominous scream from the bushes, and rushed here to see... this.

(camera looks at the mangled body)

Me: We'd never have come if.... wait, what's that?

(camera pans around)

Me: There!

(camera glimpses a furred body in the brush)

The cameraman: What do we do?

Me: The only thing we can do.... RUN!

(camera shakes as we run through the woods, catching glimpses of my running feet and my back as we go)

Me: Uh oh.

The cameraman: What?

Me: I think it's in front of us!

The cameraman: Oh, crap.

Me: Get up here, Frank!

The cameraman: Hell, no.

Me: FRANK!

The cameraman: Oh, geez. Fine. But if I die, I'm going to kill you.

Me: Good, That'll make a great story.

(cameraman moves up to beside me and we wait and listen)

The cameraman: I don't think it's around anymore.

Me: Shhhh! You'll give away our position.

The cameraman: I don't think that matters.

Me: What? Why?

(the camera pans up into the tree we were crouched under. I look up as well)

We hear a rustling and the camera sees a flash of claw and feathers,  then the camera hits the ground and continues running.

Screaming cuts off as we hear crunching and flesh tearing.

 

 

Next person.... give an inaugural (first) presidential speech... for the first 'non-human' elected. (anything will do... cat, dog, alien, spider, car, robot, computer, imaginary friend, etc.)