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need a guiding hand


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#1
pdaangsakti21

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first, i'm sorry if i post it in the wrong place. and if i made any mistake, please, by all means, help me make it right.
 
 
to the main topic, i'm actually writing a fantasy novel. i'm thinking about publishing... errr, i mean post it on my blog. but as a beginner writer i'm not confident enough with my writings so far, and english for me is a foreign language which is kind of a problem for me.
so, i wonder if any of you could kindly help me? wether it's to direct me to an educational forum on novel writing, or to be my editor or any help you could offer...
i can't offer you anything but thanks for the moment, please spare me from your railgun shooting.
 
thank you.

Edited by ROTFLMAOMAGNETS, 27 January 2016 - 06:22 AM.
moved from novels subforum


#2
danfare

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I'll give you some links I found on my bookmarks:

1, 2
in these two you'll find a masterpost with lots of other helpful links!!

Writing sites: Writer's Cafe, Mibba (haven't been on this site for a long time, not sure if it's still the same), Advice to Writers
it helps to get feedback from other writers, but always remain loyal to your original style of writing.

(Oh and I think this topic goes in here. but am unsure)


Edited by danfare, 25 January 2016 - 10:52 PM.


#3
pdaangsakti21

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thanks for the help, i'll check them ASAP!

(need a bit of rest because i lack sleep from gathering data *sob*)

 

and yes it seems that you're right, i didn't look at the artsy corner section so i wasn't aware of the writer's club.

how can i move this thread there? do i need mod's help?


Edited by pdaangsakti21, 26 January 2016 - 12:00 AM.


#4
DemonHide

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Yeah, a mod's gotta move it for ya. They'll get to it. Give it a week first, then contact one of the Forum Moderators from this list if you still need to: Staff. Dafort or Subryo, maybe. They only yell half the time.
 
Good luck with that novel, bud. Your English is pretty good now and it'll be damn near flawless by the end of this.


Edited by ROTFLMAOMAGNETS, 27 January 2016 - 06:23 AM.
I don't think I ever yell but I can see how some people might be into getting yelled at o:


#5
pdaangsakti21

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thanks, ROTFLMAOMAGNETS boss!

 

and thanks too DemonHide, but i still got a long way to perfect my english. though, i doubt that "perfect" english actually exists.

 

sooo, um. since the mod has already moved this and the thread is still going on, i want to continue the discussion. please excuse me.

 

actually, i've totally rewritten my story twice because of redundancies, paced too fast, inconsistencies, and many other beginner's mistakes. i'll get this over eventually, but my biggest worry now is that i can't seem to fix my own plots. i prepared some plot twists, but the preparation stages that lead to those events... suck. i'm getting irritated over my own ideas  :(



#6
Silentnight

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Then why don't you post the parts of your story here, on your forum. Their are also other people who post their stories online and others give opinions and if you ask for it you can also get some help.

 

Also if you have trouble putting plot twists in your story why do you present them in a form as dramatic irony? With that it can also help you create events to push your story along  to get to climax's and cn help lead to even more plot twists.

 

One ore thing before I go, this is usually used by screenwriters but it helps a bunch with regular story writing.

 http://www.storymastery.com/story/screenplay-structure-five-key-turning-points-successful-scripts/

 

how-and-why-hague-six-stage.gif


http://dramatica.com/resources/articles/how-and-why-hague-six-stage.gif



#7
pdaangsakti21

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right, thanks for the reply, Silentnight!

 

so, uhm. i'd say it's

-a common mainstream story where one summoned or reincarnated. i'd like it to be summoned one though.

-settings of the world, the mainstream sword and magic in middle age. monsters and various races etc.

-the main idea is that world is in danger of the once-in-XXXX years apocalypse, and it emerged from a mistake from former world's greatest mage.

-as for the "cheat", i plan not to give 2 of the 3 MC a cheat, they will just settle with their own carried habits from their previous world. for the last MC, she's the one with a full cheat but i don't intend to give her much spotlight. she'll only fight while holding back for her own convenience. 

-just for my own ideal though, i don't give 2 of them a good magic aptitude. rather, they're poor in magic. 

-1st, the main MC is a happy-go-lucky type, but flushed the idea. problem is, now there's 2 MC with overlapping personalities. while it may not be a problem but i don't think the story will be colorful like that.

-3 MCs will get together at a later time, not from the beginning. think like the old time RPG where you need to actually recruit companions.

-for the ending i plan to kill or put a curse to the main MC, but when i actually wrote it, it became ridiculous because for a reason it became a comedy! such an anticlimax i scrapped it right away and now brainwashing for another fitting tragedy for ending.

 

 

dramatic irony.... i'll meditate for one. i don't think my story progressed that deep yet, but i'm planning for some. with the initial ending scrapped, i'm still clueless for some points. they're mostly still contradict each other (bleh)

 

sorry, i can't tell fluently, i don't intend to hide things but it's confusing me. if you need me to give more specific things just ask, i'll reply asap

 

 

 

 



#8
Silentnight

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Well I think you can keep your original ending but it would just be the process of how you get there is what would have to be fixed. The story sounds interesting and yes, have characters with overlapping personalities can end up  being a little boring, you don't have to necessarily fix it by adding another main character with a contrasting personality. You can just make the main characters personalities contrast with the overall personality of side characters or their surroundings. Also to not all a happy-go-lucky types are the same, their are some who are the clueless a happy-go-lucky type and those who appear a clueless a happy-go-lucky type but are truly strong and don't show their strength through violence but through patience and non-violence.

(I hoped this helped and made sense. I tend to mess up with my grammar when I type things out, so sorry if I did.)



#9
pdaangsakti21

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i don't "add" another MC, she has always been in my idea sine the first time. all 3 of hem, though the OP one will ct searately most of the time. or should i make her just a supporting character instead?

and yes, i'm stil battling with the ending. thugh there are some progress in he plots but ending is still no quite there yet.

 

thanks for your help, the hapy go lucky one really kicks my sense lol. i'll start building them



#10
Silentnight

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(Well I had a little trouble catching what you're saying but I think I got the general idea.) For the OP character try asking yourself these questions:

 

1. Is she (it's a she right?)introduced at least in the first 1/3 of the story? 

 

2. Does she influence the other Mc s in any way?

 

3. Does she affect or add depth the story in a way?

 

4. Does she contribute to or enhance to the other MC s experiences?

 

5.Does she help them to learn lessons, see different points of view, support, or encourage to your other Mc s?

 

6. Does she challenge them in some way, or get them into trouble?

 

7. Is it easy for readers to identify with that character?

 

If you said yes to #'s Almost all of these questions then she should be a supporting character.

 

If you said yes to # 1 and # 7 and one or 2 others then she should remain as a MC

 

 

(I hoped this helped!)



#11
pdaangsakti21

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1. Is she (it's a she right?)introduced at least in the first 1/3 of the story? 

*yes she will be introduced as a passing character. and her role will be apparent right at the end of the first 1/3... i think.

 

2. Does she influence the other Mc s in any way?

*in a very big way, but behind the scene, most of her deeds went unnoticed by other MCs.

 

3. Does she affect or add depth the story in a way?

*yes. that is why she is one of the main character.

 

4. Does she contribute to or enhance to the other MC s experiences?

*nn, i don't think she will. at least not until they join as a team later.

 

5.Does she help them to learn lessons, see different points of view, support, or encourage to your other Mc s?

*in a very discreet way. though the only lesson she will teach them is about the magical disaster. so, maybe leaning to "no"?

 

6. Does she challenge them in some way, or get them into trouble?

*challenging them to solve problems. like a good sensei?

 

7. Is it easy for readers to identify with that character?

*she will be, and she will be not. discreet ways will be revealed at the last half of the story

 

If you said yes to #'s Almost all of these questions then she should be a supporting character.

 

If you said yes to # 1 and # 7 and one or 2 others then she should remain as a MC

*her supporting role will end in the latter half, where her actions will be mostly together with the other MCs. erm, i mean she will act in coordination with the other two, they will act as a team but sometimes will do tasks separately.

 

(I hoped this helped!)

*yes, i thank you again! your questions yet again solves some of my worries by forcing me to cone down the problem points. at first i have some difficulties in adjusting the OP MC's roles to the other MCs but with this, i imagine her having all sorts of problems with her OPness. she will solve problems behind the scene and will involve another MC because although she's OP she's not omnipotent. she will need another to lean and depend on. the stress from being OP, maybe? ah, do you think it will be a good handicap for this OP girl? having stressed out and dilemmas because of the "cheat" gift?



#12
Silentnight

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Yeah it is a perfect problem for this character and also you you can use the face that she is stressed for her "OP-ness" to form a possible back story (if you didn't already

have one) or to help build a depth in this person's personality (if it hasn't been fully developed).  

 

(Below are just examples, you can skip over them if you want, I'm not sure if they're much help)

For example most OP characters tend to either be cocky or calm or kind and sometimes their kindness is sometimes behind he scenes  and some usually travel in search of a challenge whereas others tend to push themselves away from others because their power ended up hurting others or when they really needed that power the most they didn't have it and later (just like you wanted) they open up and start to lean on others because their power is omnipotent and they undergo personality changes or perhaps their past of how they became powerful is rough or good and later comes back at them.

 

 

 

Sorry for making this long. Also I had I little trouble with this one, but I tried to help as much as I could.  (Hopefully it does help).



#13
pdaangsakti21

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no prob, i'm grateful! thanks to you this problematic char has been cleared up. i have a good view of her now. your help is really working =D

 

maybe i'll post teasers here when i finish things up. i need to tidy some of my writings~



#14
Silentnight

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I"m glad it all helped! I look forward to seeing the parts of your story that you post here! :D



#15
pdaangsakti21

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this is the prologue. tell me what you think, i need to improve a lot =p

 

Spoiler



#16
Silentnight

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I like it but like you said you need to improve on it. It feels a little bumpy and you might want to check your grammar, verb tenses and wording in a couple places. Aside from that this a good start and the prologue is quite interesting :)



#17
pdaangsakti21

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thanks, as you said i have a very vast room to improve myself and i'm still on its corner. still a long road to go. as always, thanks for your feedback, that prologue is the 3rd total revision, with a hurried editing and checking (idk what's the difference between them, or proofreading lol) but yes, this version is the one i like the most. i will clean it and move forward.

as for the "bumpy" parts, i'm still troubled to make them smooth. maybe because of my way of thinking that actually skips to conclusions for most of the time? i know that i need to explain things, i guess i need to work hard fixing my bad [skipping to sudden conclusions] habit.

 

thanks for your thumbs up!  :batoto_004:



#18
Silentnight

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It is bumpy due to the fact that you use a coma almost every sentence....

There is nothing wrong with skipping to the conclusion but if you call you a balance between you using a coma and not using a coma then that woud make it a lot smoother. (If that makes sense)


Edited by Silentnight, 15 March 2016 - 05:03 AM.


#19
pdaangsakti21

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oh, so that's it? i guess it's because of an old habit. been writing like that since elementary lol

 

thanks for pointing it!