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#21
Officer Judy Hopps

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@Missy- Darling. You know I adore you. But the biggest problem with your CS is that it's entirely vague, and disjointed. You have a master? You are in a Prison Cell? There's a little boy? It's a collection of different thoughts not making up a whole. Also, a few millennia? First sunrises? No. That would make you older than any NPCS I have planned. Get cracking on it again. You have a lot of work to do.

What you have is sweet, but you ignore basically everything. I love you, but I will not hold with stubbornness. Find a way to make your character fit in Tokio Funka, not the other way around.

Also no music and appearance? Those sections are in there for a reason, and are not optional.

Still a WIP, sorry Sangre dear. ._.;

The history isn't done quite yet by a long shot, and I'll edit the age and everything else you noted accordingly. @_@ Was just trying to work with the environment...sorry. ._.

Getting used to stricter GMs is really tough. .___.

Edited by Feisty-Pants, 11 July 2014 - 05:48 PM.


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#22
Ilyse

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I'm like the least strict GM out there, sorry to say.


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#23
KDPtheKing

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Power upppp now I know where I want to go
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#24
Asor al ed Ergnas

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Here we goooo!

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I have no problems with this at the moment. I will give it another close eye review when I start officially accepting, but as of now; the best CS so far.

 

@Missy and Jellybean- I am a little strict ya, but I am fair~


Edited by Sangre de la Rosa, 11 July 2014 - 06:36 PM.

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#25
Officer Judy Hopps

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Added some more history, will finish it up when I can.


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#26
SliceAndDice

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I'm like the least strict GM out there, sorry to say.

 


Yeah. You, me, Rogue, and Liar all kinda spoiled that whole generation with how fast and loose we play acceptance.


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#27
Liar

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To be honest, I tempered that with the fact that I throw out enemies that are as ridiculous as the players made their characters.



#28
SliceAndDice

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That is the typical alternative. We didn't need to be harsh at CS creation because we had the means to be evil bastards in the game itself if it was called for.


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#29
El Phantom

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I changed it to before he joined the rebellion. You said they had yet to do anything major, so matching that...


Edited by Captain L Katsura, 13 July 2014 - 03:46 AM.


#30
Asor al ed Ergnas

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@L. It all looks alright.

 

Except your Gentle Breeze. We talked about this. It's still a lethal skill, and I can see where you could easily abuse it. Especially with direct control of ending it and making damage happen almost instantaneously.

 

Fix it. Make it a simple strong whirlwind or something, there's no need to be OP =/


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#31
Insane Soul

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Is the people limit filled already?

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#32
Unbelievably Majestic

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No.

Nobody has been accepted yet.

Sangre has a soft-cap on the players she will accept. So she's actively refusing to accept people for a little while to give everybody a fair shake. Then she will choose the best/most-fitting characters, and accept those.

Edited by Unbelievably Majestic, 12 July 2014 - 02:02 AM.


#33
Insane Soul

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Ummm

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#34
Unbelievably Majestic

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Ummm?

#35
Asor al ed Ergnas

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No.

Nobody has been accepted yet.

Sangre has a soft-cap on the players she will accept. So she's actively refusing to accept people for a little while to give everybody a fair shake. Then she will choose the best/most-fitting characters, and accept those.

j0ker has it correct.

 

This is exactly what I am doing.

 

For clarification, read some of my posts I have already made here, and also the main post's Q&A.


Edited by Sangre de la Rosa, 12 July 2014 - 02:12 AM.

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#36
Insane Soul

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Ummm?


OH, SO I CAN'T RHINK OUT LOUD? I THOUGHT I LIVED IN DEMOCRACY











actually I dont

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#37
Unbelievably Majestic

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OH, SO I CAN'T RHINK OUT LOUD? I THOUGHT I LIVED IN DEMOCRACY
actually I dont


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Edited by Maia, 22 July 2014 - 11:34 PM.


#38
Diabolical Rhapsody

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Special thanks to Sangre for helping me with the framework.

 

With everyone going for lesser Onis, I decided to roll out a plain vanilla human.

 

Ise

 

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I hope this remains an unchanged and acceptable draft. A review requested.

 

As suggested I left the end open to be more malleable.


Edited by Diabolical Rhapsody, 12 July 2014 - 03:54 AM.

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#39
Asor al ed Ergnas

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@Diab- Looks great! Good work Diab, most proud of you. Your CS needs no current revising, and is in the running now~

 

Still going the Machi route I assume yes?


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#40
Diabolical Rhapsody

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@Sangre - Yep. Unless you suggest otherwise. This route is more easily exploitable for the purposes and settings of the RP. Tying her to a house and taking the traditional route will have certain problems regarding too much NPC control and the chance of additional heat and easy curtailing of the situation from enemy side. But if you suggest i can tinker her to be a traditional Geisha.

 

~celebrates~ Thanks for the acceptance.


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