Hi ...
my name is A.B .....
and I'm a wise-a$$ ...
as in NOT a BADASS ...
anyone !!!
okay that was lame ...
anyway .....
UNIVERSALLY SPEAKING :
I think the emotional investment of the readers in a story similar to this would heavily depend on the moralities of the characters they're reading about and how their motives come up as earth-bound considering how everything else_ as I concluded from what you've mentioned_ would be way off the charts ..
1) apply a pretty coating of gray upon your characters and everything would feel more believable and compelling ...
for example : the MC being mislead into a fight for the wrong reasons_ or not being mislead in the first place_, acting with disregard to lesser lives even if he still takes a favor to some ....
you know the drill ...
those are just examples of what you could do, and not what you SHOULD do, as obviously you're the one envisioning this story and only you know the paths it will take and the destination it must reach ....
2) there's ALWAYS a weakness, either physical or emotional, every character needs something that abases him/her someway or the other ...
and that weakness should have a story, and that story should be complex yet understandable, and not something you contrive for the benefit of the storyline but more or less something that is part of the storyline itself
3) DO NOT DEVISE EVENTS, and let the story stream fluidly. if a character has no other way but to die or fail than DO IT ...
don't leave him lingering up our nostrils just because you felt too affectionate with him/her ...
it doesn't mean that you have to kill everyone, it only means that you have to plan for his rescue 100 thousands words ( that may be an exaggeration ) before doing so and throughout the course of events in a way that you make sure won't betray what's to come ...
YES every story needs a certain amount of ambiguity to hide its conclusion ....
but the right amount of so is something you YOURSELF know and not something people can tell you or teach you about ...
( also the amount of detail you conveyed doesn't help a lot in that regard ... )
( usually that's the job of an editor to tell so if you can ask someone to help you with the story do it , it helps because it gives you an outsiders opinion_ as everything sounds better in your head than it does on paper, ask me about it .... _
and it aids you to determine those factors you and I subsequently mentioned )
NOW, AS FOR MY PERSONAL OPINION :
It's a personal preference, so some might agree or disagree with me, but I like ambiguous stories which leads you through blinding fog ...
I HATE guessing where the story will go and how it will end ...
so I usually like stories that describe the environment rather than what the characters are thinking
and I like it a whole bunch when I stop guessing what's happening in the story and begin contemplating the hidden meaning behind the events rather than the events themselves ....
as I said, a personal preference ....
I hope that helped you in any way ...
and I hope I didn't sound like the pretentious douche that I think I sounded like ...
Edited by A.B., 26 May 2014 - 06:01 PM.