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Manga/Novel attempt


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#1
ConspiracyWeasel

ConspiracyWeasel

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Title : None (so far)

Genre(s): Comedy, Drama, Tragedy, Magic, Romance, Action, Adventure, Dark

 

The weary traveler lets out a heavy sigh. The cold night air saps his energy with every impossible step forward. Weariness is starting to set in, making his movements sluggish as if he was walking through deep ruts of soupy mud. The howls of the wild animals in the valley are his only companions and his motivation to keep moving forward. 

Sorry, no free meal tonight fellas.

The imposing mountains above the valley are a welcome barrier against the viscous wind. He pulls his cloak around him trying to keep what little body heat he has left, but to no avail. His robe is old,tattered and stained from years of travel and violent weather. His hair was a mess. Short and ruffled black hair, with crumbs of earth and other unidentifiable clots. Clear evidence that he has spent far too long in the wild. His armor and chain mail underneath the robe clinks with a steady, soulless cadence. Blood red armor fashioned like that of knights in the old country, a country where kings slayed dragons and pulled swords from stone. Blood red armor, only given to mages who's prowess and ferociousness on the battlefield are legendary. A symbol of near absolute power. His thoughts of the cold night and hungry animals is suddenly cutoff as the sky lights up in the distance. As the traveler walks up a steep hill, millions of orange fireflies soar into the air lighting up the surrounding area for miles around, as if to say that his destination was close by. And in truth it was. The valley was void of life within the circle of light. Captivation controls the traveler, but halfway to the crest of the hill, a sudden horrifying realization hits him like a blow to the chest from a mace.

This cant be....there shouldn't any fireflies in the dead of winter...oh no.!!

With blazing speed he reaches the top of the hill. His face shows exasperated horror as his colorless eyes scan the surroundings. The only bit of civilization that he has seen in the past few months is burning to the ground. But does this bother our weary traveler? No. What does is the screams of countless people being slaughtered without mercy. Every fiber in his being is yelling at him to rush to the aid of the townspeople, however his body became fused to the ground. The sound of hooves thundering in the distance demands his attention. As he races down the hill he see's a group of five marauders bearing down on a women carrying her child, desperately trying to escape the horrible fate that's about to befall them. As the traveler closes the gap between them, a silver light emits around his left  hand. There is a  familiar tug and pull in his head as he silently casts a spell, and the sudden release of the of magic eases the pain in his head. Light shoots out of his palm, snaking off and engaging the marauders. Unfortunately, he's too late. Before the spell was released, a marauder loosens an arrow. The arrow strikes the woman at the base of her skull, going through flesh like a ship cutting through a current. She drops, instantly dead. The arrow pierces the child's left shoulder, destroying bone and muscle in a instant. The serpent-like beams of light slams into the chests of two of the marauders. Blood and carnage explodes from their chests, knocking them off of their horses. The other three marauders were hit in various places, but with the same effect. The traveler rushes  with every ounce of energy he can, it may not be to late to save the kid...and he was right. As he approached the fallen mother, he sees that the child is unconscious, still clinging to his dead mother. 

He doesn't have much time...he's lost a lot of blood...his arm has to go..damn....DAMN!!!

All the magic in the world can not replace a body part that has received so much damage....even more so for someone so young. The traveler pulls out a dagger hidden underneath his robe. He puts the child into a magic induced coma and begins the grizzly operation of removing the shattered arm from its socket, and then remove it altogether. He has to stop multiple times to wipe blood and tears away from his face while he operates. Heal, cut, heal, and cut. The ebb and flow of desperation to save the kids life takes a toll on the traveler, however, after a while the kid is stable. There were still bandits and marauders around but he couldn't do anything about it, even more so with an injured child. The traveler made a split-second decision. A decision he will later regret.

 

 

 

 

So there is my story so far. Needs a little tweaking here and there. But I have a lot more planned. Enjoy???     


Edited by ConspiracyWeasel, 18 May 2013 - 12:22 AM.


#2
Frost

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Wow that's a very broad range of genres.

 

I like it so far, character seems intriguing/mysterious but also very capable with his colorless eyes, blood red armor, and magic skills. I like the setting too, a world full of chaos and disorder is never boring.

 

I just noticed a small grammar thing. I think "who's" should actually be "whose".

 

But it was a fun read ConspiracyWeasel

I look forward to seeing more of this :]


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#3
ConspiracyWeasel

ConspiracyWeasel

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Why thank you, and I appreciate the feedback. Yeah, correct grammar and spelling sometimes give me trouble. But I will post more tomorrow.


Edited by ConspiracyWeasel, 18 May 2013 - 06:18 AM.


#4
ConspiracyWeasel

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The day started just out like any other. The townspeople were busying themselves with their daily rituals, blissfully unaware of the horror that the night would bring. Azir was home with his mother helping her clean the their tiny run-down house in the near center of town. Azir was tall for only being twelve years old. His acquaintances never made fun of his height, fearing future repercussions. But also out of respect for the mother and child's tenacity for survival . Azir grew up never knowing who his father was. And if it bothered him, it never showed. The older males around town helped teach him the fundamentals of how a "man" should live his life. But out of all the  people helping him, Mr. Jarol was his favorite.
Mr. Jarol was the town blacksmith and a damn good one. Knights would venture from all over to sample and purchase his work, and the towns people liked him for his big belly and boisterous laugh. Azir loved him because he never yelled at him whenever he would break something...which happens quite often.
"Azir honey, could you please grab my sowing basket?" asked his mother.
"Yes ma'am" Azir replied.
His mother was a lovely creature indeed. Slim and slender, her beauty was known around town. Her long auburn hair was tied back and slung over her right shoulder and the ends fanned over a faded violet dress. Her eyes were as green and deep as emeralds that you'd find in a dark mine shaft. And it wasn't just her beauty that made her popular, but also her never-ending kindness. Azir walked over to a corner and picked up the basket and brought it to his mother who was sitting in her chair. One of the few pieces of furniture in the house besides the bed, a chair for Azir, and small table for dinner. Their house was small. Just barely enough space for two people to live horribly. I know what your thinking and your right. It was a horrible place to live, but being poor they didn't really have much choice. Azir's mother started putting her finishing touches on a blanket she was making. It was low quality material and poorly made, but the townspeople bought them at a good price. Mainly out of pity, but with the small understanding that Azir was too young to work just yet and that even they have to eat.
"Mom, can I go see Mr. Jarol?"
His mom puts down her tools of the trade and looks at Azir curiously.
"Yes, I don't mind but don't you think that you pester him too often?"
Azir looks down at his feet with mock defeat then at his mother with begging eyes.
"He doesn't mind! Honest!" says Azir, almost yelling.
His mother gives him that familiar smile of approval and pats him on the head. Brushing his shaggy brown hair out of his face.
"How can I say no, too such beautiful eyes." she says with a gentle smile.
His eyes, which were as green as his mothers but with golden specks, were indeed captivating. The only gift from his father. All the older women would swoon over his eyes and embarrass him with comments. The most frequent of which, 'Grow up fast! I have daughters that would fall for such eyes'. Girls were an alien thought to him, as such were to most 8 year-old's.
Azir smiles and dashes out of the house, rushing to see his friend. Mr. Jarol's smithy, aptly named 'The Iron Pig', was located at the town center, just past the local market. The townspeople paid Azir no heed as he ran to the blacksmiths shop, they were too busy to to notice the small child running past them. Then again everywhere you looked there were children running around, playing without worry. So Azir's presence is overlooked, just like the other children. All the buildings in town were cheaply made and close together. The roofs were a simple design of thatch, just strong enough to block some of the rain.

Only a few of the towns buildings were taller than a story. The streets were in major disrepair, but that was of little consequence since not many people had horses. The smell of food, burning clay and perfume fills the air around the market. People are busy as usual. Only a few people shout greetings to Azir as he runs to the smithy and he happily returns them whenever he is able.
After a few minuets, Azir reaches The Iron Pig. As Azir approaches the smithy, he notices a few horses which isn't out of the ordinary, however, there's something different about these horses. They're covered in weird animal pelts and weapons that Azir doesn't recognize. He slowly makes his way into the smithy, only to be stopped in his tracks by sight that he see's inside. Mr. Jarol is backed up against the wall with a handful of wild-looking and dangerous men standing around him. Azir isn't stupid enough to speak up. After all he is a kid and they are adults.
"-and when we come back YOU WILL do this job for us."
"And if I refuse then?" Mr. Jarol snaps back rhetorically.
Azir can picture the man smiling, even though all he can see is their backs.
"Well in that case, you might not get ahead in life...if you know what I'm saying." There are chuckles of agreement from the rest of the group. Mr. Jarol looks around and notices Azir and freezes up. The group of wild-men turn around and take notice of Azir. There is a awful smile from the leader of motley troupe. Azir starts to backup, frightened by the mans face. One of the mans eye's were missing and he made no attempt to hide it. The man's nose was impossibly crooked from being broken multiple times. His smile revealed that dental hygiene was of no importance since more than one tooth was missing. Either way it scared Azir. The man, with lightning speed, lurches forward and grabs Azir by his already disintegrating yellow tunic and pulls him off his feet till Azir is only inches from the man's ugly face.
"I think....we've found a good barging chip lads!" Snarls the leader of the group.
Azir doesn't like the sound of that and wants to protest, but his mind goes blank with shock at the wild-man's proclamation. There is a sudden, disgusting breaking noise from behind the group, as the closest wild man to Mr. Jarol drops. Blood is rushing from the man's head as his lifeless body drops to the floor. A red gleam comes from the blunt end of a club, the group is speechless as droplets of crimson tears fall to the floor.
"If you don't want to end up like your friend here, I highly suggest you leave now." Mr. Jarol's voice is low and dangerous.
Azir has never seen Mr. Jarol get angry at anyone before, let alone kill someone. The group leader gets the point and scowls in bitter defeat and mutters some language that is foreign to Azir. His comrades look at each other, then at the leader with fear and anger and begin to slowly leave. The wild-man drops Azir and slowly backs towards the door.
"You'll deeply regret this" The man's one good eye is glaring with murderous intent. "You and this town will suffer!!"
"We'll see." Mr. Jarol replies as the man slinks out the door.
Mr. Jarol rushes over and tightly grabs Azir as he falls to the floor crying violently.
"Don't look at the body, don't look!" Mr. Jarol yells.
However its too late. Azir won't stop crying, not because of the body,but because he almost got taken by these men. He wont stop until a sudden pain erupts in the back of his head and ceases his crying. Azir's has a final thought before the world goes dark.
For a big man....Mr. Jarol sure moves fast.....
Azir slips in and out of consciousness making out bits and pieces of a strange conversation.
"---didn't mean for him to see it...it just happend..I'm so sorry..."....this voice sounds familiar
"....You protected him, thank you..." a woman's voice...is she crying?
"I have something for his birthday tomorrow and I will have a talk with him about what happened today"...that's right, tomorrow is my birthday
"Bless you.." she's crying "You've always been so kind"
"His father was a good knight and a good friend...its the least I could do to repay him. I have to take care of that thing, so I'll be off then." The man replies.

"See you tomorrow Mr. Jarol." replies Azir's mom.
Azir has peaceful dreams...well...as peaceful it can be under the circumstances. Azir thought seeing someone killed would effect him more, but he is oddly at peace about it.
Am I a monster? People unaffected by things like this are monsters right?
Azir doesn't have anymore time to ponder the question as his consciousness, is fully immersed in sleep. However, no good deed goes unpunished...am I correct?
Screams. That's all Azir can hear.
Why are people screaming?
"Azir!!! Wake up Azir we have to leave now!!" someone is yelling at him.
Who is that?
Azir awakens, his mother is violently shaking him. He looks outside and there is something not right.
Why is everything orange???
"Azir, damn you, get up!!" and with that Azir is awake.
His mother never yelled, let alone cursed at him. She doesn't give him time to collect his bearings as she violently pulls him with her. When they exit their house, its almost like hell incarnate. Women children are screaming, and bodies litter the streets. There is a sea of blood rushing from all the lifeless corpses that litter the streets, and the smell of burning flesh fills Azir's nose causing him to vomit.
"Azir we have to run! Don't look around!" She can barely talk between being out of and holding back tears.
However, it doesn't help. Azir is frozen in horror, trying not to vomit again. One body is fine...but all these people.
"Over there!!!" There's shouting coming from behind him.
Wh...who could have done this....
His thoughts are further interrupted when his mother snatched him up and started running. He didn't know where they were going, and frankly he didn't care. The boy's thoughts were preoccupied with not dying and his mother's sudden increase in strength and speed. He was a tall boy, and even though not very heavy, his mother has always been frail. They weaved in and out of alleyways trying to get out of the town, only stopping so his mother can catch her breath. Azir was scared by the feral look on his mother's face. He tried not to cry, fearing that doing so will cause him to lose his mind.
And it almost worked until a grizzly sight sent him over the edge. As they got close to leaving the town he recognized a certain blacksmith's body slumped up against a building, with a missing head, and filled with arrows as if he were a pin-cushion. That was it. He lost it. Azir's scream was filled with unbelievable sadness. Unfortunately it only gotten worse. There were shouts and the sounds of horses fast approaching. Azir dared a quick glance at his mother's face, and in that moment he wish he hadn't. Her once beautiful face was now contorted is such agony and horror that he didn't even recognize her. And that scared him. If that wasn't enough, when he looked back behind them, there were devils on horses riding on their heels. Azir turned his head around and seen a lone stranger on the hill right outside of town. As if the person's presence was a miracle, a surge of hope overwhelmed him, escape seemed possible. But just as soon as that feeling came, it went.
Where will we go...there's no forests around....I....I don't want mother to die...I..I....I don't wanna die!
Famous last thoughts. Despair washed over him like a waterfall as the riders were fast approaching. He saw movement from one of the riders, but he was a not quite sure as to what exactly he was doing. At that exact moment, silver light went shooting over their heads and zooming straight towards the group of wild-men.
What is that light?
He didn't have time to finish his thoughts. There was a loud whistle and an explosion of pain. Both were instantaneous. His visioned filled with the arrow shaft that was sticking out of his mothers neck. He also knew he was bleeding pretty badly, but couldn't tell. As they were falling to the ground, his vision grew blurry.
Is....is this death? Oh well..at least I'll be with mother again...but I still don't wanna die. No more thoughts came from the child as his whole world went blank.


Edited by ConspiracyWeasel, 27 June 2017 - 06:53 PM.


#5
ConspiracyWeasel

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Sorry for not posting for sometime there were...issues. More soon.



#6
ConspiracyWeasel

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Even after nine years, the nightmares came in the darkness, Azir could still see the flames. The town was burning and there was nothing Azir could do about it.
Was it my fault that everyone was killed?
Familiar voices crept through the darkness.
If only you hadn't been born...
If only you hadn't come to my shop..
If only........
If only.......
If only......
The cries of the imagined townspeople filled his head. Then finally, the image of his mother appeared and wrapped him in a loving embrace.
"I love you my child". She whispered into his ear.
Maybe it wasn't my fault after all....
His mother released her embrace and gently smiled at him, before turning and walking away,
"Mother!!!!!" Azir screamed.
Azir shot up out of bed with his remaining arm outstretched,reaching for some parental comfort that will never come,
He let his emotions get the better of him as he wept from the colossal torrent of guilt and anguish, he hugged himself as he knew no one would comfort him.
The door burst open with violent force. The traveler rushed in looking for any attacker or intruder that might harm him and the child.
His colorless eyes scanned the room.
Nothing's here....
He looked at the child with puzzlement
"What's wrong?" asked the traveler.
"I saw my mother...." Azir couldn't finish explaining before bursting into tears.
The traveler hated it when he seen people cry. But even more so when Azir did. Not out of some sympathetic reason, but rather, it was the feeling of anger that even after nine years, the child would not seem to put the past behind him.
"What did I tell you about crying?" The traveler was trying to put venom in his words, however he failed greatly. He couldn't stay mad at Azir. He himself suffered a similar fate when he was younger.
"I'm sorry master" replied Azir between sobs, "I couldn't help it."
The traveler did a good job at hiding his sympathy, making a furious face to throw off his only pupil. Couldn't let Azir get too comfortable around him.
"Well knock it off. You have more training in a few hours and you need to be rested for it." Snapped the traveler.
 

This is all that I could salvage from memory. I had a lot more written down but I lost all of my notes. Well I would like to ask for everyone's opinion on a certain matter. Since losing my notes ,I have written out the story to have a 'good' or 'bad' ending. And well I would just let to get feedback on how it should end (if anyone cares) because this is a pivotal point in the plot for this story.
Thank you.

 

UPDATE: Damn, I completely forgot about this story. I'll add more here in a little while


Edited by ConspiracyWeasel, 27 June 2017 - 09:37 PM.